My Love
by E. Limberg
Summary: Takes place after Knockdown. Martha and Alexis are worried about Castle following Beckett and want him to be safe. Will changes in their partnership lead to changes in their relationship? And what happens when her mother's case is reopened?
1. My Partner

**My Love**

**Chapter 1: My Partner**

_My love, leave yourself behind_

"Good morning, Detective," Castle smiles lightly as he hands her a cup of coffee. Montgomery had forced the entire team to take a few days off after the events of her mother's case, and they were just now coming back to work.

"Hey, Castle," she sighs, taking a sip of coffee.

He sits down in his chair by her desk, "No bodies yet?"

"Nope."

"And you're… doing okay?" he has to ask even though he knows that she will probably not be truthful.

"It's still hard. I thought I had put it all behind me, but reopening the case has made those wounds surface again. Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to let it all go, to not care who's behind it."

"If you want to find these guys, Kate, I'll be right next to you. We'll find them and put them behind bars. If you just want to let it all go… then we will."

Beckett sets her coffee down and leans back in her chair, "I can't, Castle. She dedicated her life to finding the truth, and… I have to do this for her."

"Okay," he reaches for her hand. "We will. I mean, if you want me to be here to help you…"

"Yes, I need you here, Rick," she bites her lip, somewhat regretting her words after having said them.

"Then I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you. You're a great friend."

"It's no problem, Kate."

Before she can reply, her cell phone rings. She doesn't recognize the number. "Beckett," she answers, glancing at Castle as he drinks his coffee.

"Kate? It's Martha, Richard's mother. Is Richard around?"

"Yeah," she starts, about to ask if she needs to talk to him, but the older woman cuts her off.

"I wanted to talk to you. In private, if you can. Or at least away from Richard," Martha says.

"I'll be back in a minute, Castle," the detective tells him before heading to the break room. "Is everything okay, Martha?"

"Oh, we're fine. It's just… Alexis and I want to talk to you, Kate."

"Okay…" she says, not sure what they could possibly want to say to her.

"Can you meet us during your lunch break?"

"As long as a case doesn't come in, I can be there."

"Would twelve-thirty be okay? How about that little Italian place around the corner from the precinct?"

"That should be fine."

"And you won't tell Richard about this? Or let him come with you?" Martha asks somewhat nervously.

"No, he can have lunch with Ryan and Esposito today."

"Thank you, Kate. We really appreciate this."

"I'll see you in a couple hours then," Kate hangs up and heads back into the bull pen.

The writer looks up at her, "I take it that wasn't a case?"

"No."

"Dr. Motorcycle Boy?"

"He doesn't come back from Africa for another week."

"Oh… who then?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does," he prods, trying to get her to break. Suddenly it hits him, "It was someone with more information for you. Information about your mother."

"No. I have a feeling the only way I'm going to be contacted by any of these other conspirators is if they try to kill me. So you really have nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about?" Castle practically shouts. Everyone's head turns towards them. He lowers his voice when he continues, "If they want to kill you, then I should be worried."

"I don't know that they want to kill me. But it's possible. Lockwood or whoever he is did before we caught him. I'm sure his boss probably wants me dead before I can get to him. But it wasn't anyone that you need to worry about," she tries to assure him, somewhat surprised by his outburst of emotion.

"Just tell me who it is. Please. I'd feel much better," he tries to give her the puppy dog eyes. They don't work. "Come on, Kate."

"No. I'm going out to lunch with them, Castle, and I promise you that I will shoot you if you even think about following me."

"Are you cheating on Josh?" he frowns at her.

"No."

"Because you said they and that would be totally -"

She makes a grab for his ear, but he jumps back just in time, "Castle."

"Okay, no affair. Are you completely sure they are safe? Because I've proven to be surprisingly helpful in life or death situations."

"You know them better than I do, Rick. And I'm sure you'd feel kind of insulted if I said they were dangerous."

"Hm… can't be fans then. They can be pretty dangerous. And you hate reporters. I don't see why Paula or Gina would want to meet with you… unless they're trying to get you to make me quit following you so I write more. Mother and Alexis… no idea what they would want to talk to you for, but they both said they had plans… My writer poker buddies might want to meet you so that they can steal my muse…" he trails off when he notices her glare.

"What did I tell you about calling me your muse?"

"That… I shouldn't?" She continues to glare, which makes him uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me. Just remember that you said I was a good friend ten minutes ago."

"You're off the hook this time, Castle, but I swear you are going to pay if you do it again."

He smiles his thanks, "I'd promise you that it wouldn't happen again, but I don't want to break my promise."

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head at him. "I have paperwork to get done. You don't have to stay here if you have writing to do. I'll call you if we catch a case."

"I like it here."

"Okay… but I don't want to hear any complaints when Gina and Paula start yelling at you for not having the next book done."

"The book will get done. And without me going to the Hamptons for the summer," he assures her. They had never really discussed the previous summer, but he knew that his departure had affected her even though she would never admit it.

"I'm not going to get mad at you for going to the Hamptons, Castle. Just call this time."

"Alexis and I will probably go this summer. But only for a week or two. You're welcome to come if you'd like. Dr. Motorcycle Boy can even come."

"_Josh_ will not be going to the Hamptons."

"You want me to have you all to myself?" he smirks.

Another glare is directed at him. "Castle…"

"So why won't he come? Too busy with work? Or is he leaving you for Africa again?" he says somewhat spitefully.

Beckett glances at him, "Actually he doesn't really like you."

"Why? What's not to like about a rugged handsome mystery novelist?" he grins at her.

"I don't know, Castle. Maybe because you've written sex scenes about his girlfriend in your books."

"They're not real."

"But it obviously means you think about me that way."

"Not you, Kate. Nikki."

"Same thing."

"No," he frowns. "You and Nikki aren't the same."

She ignores him, "Plus I spend way more time with you than I do with him."

"Do you want me to back off, Kate? Because if it's what you want, I will."

She's taken aback by the seriousness in his eyes. "No," she says almost without thinking. "I mean… you're my partner, and Josh is going to have to deal with that."

Castle gives her a soft smile, which she returns after a moment of hesitation.

**A/N: First, the song belongs to Sia. It's in Eclipse and I thought it was really pretty so I decided to use it. Not sure how crazy I am about the lyrics though. Anyway, this story will be 30 chapters I believe. I've only got like 23 written right now. Now sure how often I'll be updating. Maybe every three days. I kind of wanted to have it done before the finale but I don't think that will happen. So... hope you enjoyed it and please let me know your thoughts. Thanks.**


	2. An Important Request

**Chapter 2: An Important Request**

_Beat inside me, leave you blind_

"Detective Beckett," Martha smiles as she walks over to their table. Both she and Alexis get up to hug the detective.

"You both can call me Kate," she accepts their hugs a little uncertainly, wondering why the wanted to meet with her.

"Kate, it's good to see you, dear. Richard told us all about your mother's case."

"He did?" she looks timidly between the two red-heads as she takes a seat across from them.

"He didn't want to. We kind of made him tell us. He was pretty upset about it, and his hand was wrapped. We had to know what was bothering him. Don't get angry with him for sharing it with us," Alexis says hurriedly, trying to explain.

"It's fine," she gives them a small reassuring smile. The waitress comes over to take their orders. Once she has left, the detective turns back to them. "I don't really know either of you that well so I take it this isn't just a social meeting."

The two Castles look at one another. "We're worried about Dad," Alexis finally says. "We don't want anything to happen to him."

"I… understand," Kate looks down at her hands. "I'm sorry that I put him in danger. I should have been more careful; I shouldn't have even brought him with me."

"Kate, don't blame yourself for any of this," Martha rests a hand on hers. "Richard is the one doing this; he knows how dangerous it is to be following you."

"But I really shouldn't be letting him follow me into some of these situations, even with his vest on. He just doesn't listen to me."

"He doesn't listen to anyone," Alexis gives her a small smile. "Besides, Dad told us that he saved your life; he punched the gunman that was about to shoot you. And even though he was in a lot of danger, it was better to have him there to save you than to have to deal with him if something had happened to you because he wasn't there."

"Still… you shouldn't lose your father or your son because of me."

"Kate, we want you to talk to him."

Beckett looks up at the two of them, "But… I already told you he doesn't listen to me. I'm sure you two would make more of an impact on him than I would. Just sit down and tell him how you feel. I've seen how much he cares about you; he'll listen."

"We… don't think he will listen. He doesn't want a repeat of last summer."

"It doesn't have to be. He could come in a couple days a week and shadow me. And I'd do my best to keep anything from happening to him. I just think you two need to be the ones to talk to him about this, not me."

Alexis and Martha look at each other again. "Kate, you have to know that he's not following you around for research anymore," the older woman says gently. She wants her son to be happy, but she also wants him to be safe. If he couldn't tell the detective how he feels about her, then she would try to make Kate see it.

"I guess it's not really about research anymore. But I think he just likes to feel useful. He's written about murder for so long, and then when he actually does research, he finds that it's not always like he writes it. When you actually have to deal with the families and the suspects and everything, you really see how much closing a case can mean. He just… has a different view than the other detectives and I do, and it's proven to be very helpful. And he wants to help as many people as possible," Kate tries to explain to them, refusing to face what they were trying to tell her.

"I'm sure that that's part of it, Kate," Martha tries again. "But… I think a lot of it has to do with you."

"Me? We're just… partners."

"He likes that you challenge him. That you're so different from almost every other woman he's met. You don't fawn over him; you treat him like a real person," Alexis begins.

"It's really not me. I'm sure it's just the people in general."

"He talks about you all the time, Kate. He's never done this with any other woman. He truly values every little piece of information about yourself that you tell him, every piece of yourself that you give him. He sits for hours staring at his computer screen, but he doesn't write; when we ask him about it, he says he can't put you in words," Martha explains.

"Not me. He means Nikki," the detective protests.

"Kate, everyone else can see it. We all know how much you two care about each other."

"No… it's not like that."

"Would any other man be willing to do what my son does for you? Especially when it comes to your mother's case? Would they risk their lives for you?" the older red-head meets her green eyes.

"No," Kate says softly.

"I understand your fears, Detective. But I think it's time that you face them. You can look down the barrel of a gun pointing at you, and yet you can't even admit that you have feelings for my son."

Letting her gaze fall back down to the table, she takes a moment to gather her thoughts. "Rick and I are nothing more than friends."

"For right now. But he wants more. And I'm sure that deep down you want more too."

"I have a boyfriend."

The teenager speaks up this time, "Look, Kate. You and Dad are meant to be together. The two of you can face that now or six months from now or a year from now or ten years from now. But I think you of all people would know the value of living life to its fullest since your mother didn't get to do that. The sooner you and Dad realize what a great thing you have, the happier you both can be."

"I don't believe in soul mates."

The waitress returns with their food. Martha and Alexis don't know what else to say to her.

Kate bites her lip, "Why, exactly, do you think I can convince him to stop following me?"

"We thought… that if you two finally confessed your feelings, he wouldn't have to follow you around anymore. He wouldn't need an excuse to spend time with you," Alexis tells her.

"I… It would mean more coming from you two than from me. Talk to him and if that doesn't work… I'll give it a try."

"You will?"

"Yes. I don't want anything to happen to him either," the brunette admits.

"Thank you, Kate," Martha smiles kindly at her.

"But… you're still going to ignore everything between you?" the teenager looks somewhat disappointed.

"I appreciate you two trying to make sure we're both happy, but now… isn't a good time. And… this really would mean a lot more to me coming from him. Maybe someday things will work out for us."

"Can you at least think about it?" Alexis asks nervously.

Kate hesitates, "I guess there's not harm in thinking about it."

The red-heads look at one another again and share a sigh, supposing this is the best they can do. Unless they can convince Rick to talk to her and that really didn't seem likely after two years of partnership.

**A/N: Sorry for not replying to reviews. I will definitely try this chapter. I thought I'd feel less overwhelmed with stuff after my wonderful anatomy midterm bright and early this morning but I really don't. Maybe it'll be better after I get my labs over with tomorrow... but probably not since then I will have to worry about scheduling on Thursday. Anyway, I'm really glad you're enjoying this one and I did manage to get a few more chapters written over the weekend when I was supposed to be studying for anatomy, which I actually didn't think was that bad but everyone is saying they failed. So... more Friday hopefully. Please keep sending the reviews, and thanks for reading.**


	3. Castle's Admission

**Chapter 3: Castle's Admission**

_My love, you have found peace_

Castle wanders back over to her desk to discover that she is packing up for the night, "You're leaving?"

"Yes," she looks up at him. "The case was closed hours ago, and the paperwork's almost done. I'm going home."

"Do you want to… have dinner?" he asks nervously. Kate stares at him for a moment, trying to decide what his intentions are. "I mean… it's okay if you have other plans. Or if Josh is coming back or whatever. We don't have to. I just thought…"

"Are you asking me on a date, Castle?"

"No. Just to go out to dinner. As friends." He wants it to be a date, but he knows if he calls it such he will probably end up in a lot of pain.

"Okay," she says slowly. "I was going to just go home and catch up on some sleep, but I guess we can go out."

"We can get take out and go back to your place if you want."

"It doesn't really matter."

"Let's go back to your place," he answers after a moment's hesitation. He doesn't really want to talk to her about this in public, but if they go back to her place, she could throw him out without listening to what he has to say. Deciding he'd have to take the risk, he opts for her apartment. "The usual?" he asks once they are in the elevator.

She smiles and nods. "As long as you don't mind."

"Of course not," he smiles back. "If you want, you can go back to your apartment, and I'll meet you there with the food."

"I'll just go with you."

He calls in the order as they head to her car. They pull out into the Friday night traffic and almost immediately come to a standstill. "Sometimes I hate New York."

"Me too."

"So… when does Dr. Motorcycle Boy come back from Africa?" he asks, curious as to how long he would have to spend with her outside of work before she would have to go back to Josh.

"Tuesday."

"How long is he spending there?"

"Three weeks."

He is beginning to notice that she doesn't want to elaborate. "And he doesn't know anything about your mother's case? What's he going to think?"

"He doesn't have to know about it."

"…Okay," Rick is somewhat reassured by the fact that there apparently is not much trust in her relationship with the surgeon, at least on her part. "Don't you think this is something he ought to know about though?"

"Castle… I think you're the only person outside of work that I've told about it. And that's mainly because you wouldn't stop bothering me until I told you," she turns to face him.

"I understand that you don't like to tell anyone about your private life, but I think that would be something you would tell a boyfriend, especially one you're keeping around for six months."

"If things get serious enough, I will tell him. You just… quit worrying about it," she turns her attention back to the road, cutting down a side street to take what she hopes will be a less crowded route to the Chinese restaurant.

They remain silent for the rest of the journey, him not wanting to aggravate her more before getting the chance to talk to her about what he really wanted to. Their shoulders brush in the elevator ride up to her apartment, but neither comments. He immediately moves to her kitchen to get plates and utensils for them, having become very familiar with her new apartment while working on her mother's case. She has disappeared so he makes their plates up and searches for drinks. By the time she comes out of her bedroom, he has moved their meal to the living room.

She sits on the couch as far as possible from him and picks up her plate. Castle, seeing that she is not going to start talking any time soon, decides to ease in to the conversation he wants to have. "Mother and Alexis told me you had lunch with them yesterday."

"…Yes."

"We had an interesting talk last night."

"So they told you?"

He thinks for a moment, wondering which part she was referring to. "Yes," he replies, hoping she would say something to give him a hint.

"Are you going to?"

"Do you want me to?"

Kate finally looks up at him, "It's not about me, Castle. I never wanted you to follow me around in the first place. You have to think of Alexis and Martha; they need you."

"I'm your partner, Kate. I'm not going to just leave you."

"I've never had a partner before, Castle. I'll manage without one again."

"Ryan and Esposito?"

"I'm their boss."

He sets his plate down and turns his body to face her, "I need your help here, Kate. I don't know what to do. Alexis and Mother shouldn't have to worry about me, but I can't just stop shadowing you."

"Why not? You did over the summer."

"That… was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that. It just made it harder to write because all I could think about is how much I missed you. And it made you angry with me."

"I wouldn't have been so angry if you had called," she replies quietly.

"I'm not going to do that to you again, Kate."

"This is different, Castle. They asked you to do this; they don't want anything to happen to you. And neither do I."

"So you want me to quit shadowing you?"

She bites her lip, "Not necessarily, but it's for the best."

"I don't think I'm going to be able to write if we just… split up."

"I'm sure they'd be willing to compromise."

"How?"

"Well, they don't like you being in danger. So… you listen to me, stay in the car when I tell you to. And that'll alleviate a lot of the danger. Maybe you don't come in to follow me around every single day; take a few days off to write."

"They'd probably be happy with that arrangement… but I'm not." They stare at each other for a moment, waiting for him to clarify.

When he doesn't, she starts to speak, "I know you'll be missing all of the exciting stuff, Castle, but it's for the best."

"It's not that. I just… If I'm not there, something might happen to you."

She hesitates for a moment before setting her plate down beside his and turning to look at him, "Nothing is going to happen to me, Castle."

"You can't say that. Twice in three days' time, Kate. You were this close," he holds up a thumb and index finger half an inch apart to emphasize his point, "to being shot twice during the case."

"But I wasn't."

"Not to mention all of those other times you've been shot at. And some of those times, you would most certainly have been hit if it hadn't been for me. And don't even get me started on your apartment blowing up last year."

"Rick, I'm grateful for all of those times that you've saved me. But… you can't think that I'm going to be shot just because you're not there," she reaches out to rest her hand on his.

Castle flips his hand over so that he can hold hers. He looks down at their joined hands as he speaks, "I keep having nightmares. Every night since he was aiming at you. Something always happens, and I can't get to him – I can't stop him from shooting you. And then I can't do anything to save you."

**A/N: Beckett's rection... Monday maybe? If I don't get too busy studying for my quizzes and practicing my presentation. Anatomy and religion quizzes... ew. And I totally suck at religion. But apparently not at anatomy like I thought I did, which I guess is good since that's probably important for my major. Monday's episode was good... I like that she said always back to him, but I think I like it better when it's associated with life and death situations. I can't wait for May so we can see new episodes. Anyway, thanks for reading. **


	4. Head Vs Heart

**Chapter 4: Head Vs. Heart**

_You were searching for relief_

"Rick," Kate whispers, closing her eyes. She scoots closer to him and wraps her arms around him.

He is slightly surprised at her actions but quickly puts his arms around her, drawing her closer and savoring this closeness. They stay like that for several minutes, and when he feels her try to pull back, he tightens his grip on her, never wanting to move from this position. He feels her lips brush against his cheek, which causes him to loosen his hold, and she extricates herself from his arms. However, she does not move back to her end of the couch. "Kate…" he begins, then decides he has no idea what to say.

"I'm fine, Rick. Thanks to you, nothing happened to me."

"See? I can't stop shadowing you. And even if I'm there, you might not be so lucky next time."

"It's –"

"I know you can't help it, Kate. I know that it's just part of the job. But I still don't like it."

She gives him a small smile, "And I don't like seeing you in danger either."

He reaches for her hand again, "Kate… I have something I need to tell you."

"I'm listening," she squeezes his hand, looking down at it to search for the bruises still visible on his knuckles from attacking the man who was trying to shoot her.

He lifts his free hand to tuck a strand of hair that had fallen from her hair tie behind her ear. Then he gently nudges her chin up to make her look at him. "I love you, Kate."

She drops her chin again, averting her eyes from his, and he lets her. The fact that she doesn't completely pull away from him provides some assurance that she isn't going to completely reject him. He knows she needs some time to gather her thoughts and articulate them.

"Rick… I'm with Josh right now."

"I know you are. But I just thought that you needed to know this. If you like him, I'll back off."

She raises her green eyes to meet his blue ones. "I like you, Rick. I really do. But I can't just break up with Josh right now. We were happy together. At least we were before he left, before my mom's case, and before… this. I don't want to say no to you, Rick. But I need time to think about this, about what I want and what's best for me."

"I want you to be happy, Kate. And if he makes you happy, then I'll settle for just being partners. Or if that's too awkward, I'll just quit shadowing you altogether," he squeezes her hand gently before pulling his hand from hers. "I should probably go."

"You don't have to," she says quickly. "We can put in a movie or something. It'd be better than both of us thinking about this all night long."

"I thought you said you needed to think," he studies her, now somewhat confused.

"I… do." Kate bites her lips, "But the more you distract me, the less time I'll have to think about this, and then things will end up better off for you."

"Then you're going to be stuck with me until Tuesday. We'll be inseparable, like peanut butter and jelly."

"Peanut butter… and jelly?" she looks at him skeptically. "Castle, I think you may be losing your touch if that's the best you can come up with."

"Short notice," he smiles lightly.

"You can pick. I'm too lazy to make a decision."

"I'll be the jelly then," he stands to look through her movie collection. "Really, Beckett? I never would have pegged you as such a Disney fan."

"The things you don't know, Castle…"

"Which is your favorite?" he asks, pulling out one of the DVDs and putting it in.

"Today it is probably _Lion King_. When I was little… I don't really know that I had a favorite."

"You didn't like _Lion King_ back then?" he asks, settling back down beside her.

"I was a teenager when it came out."

"Oh… I guess it just feels like those movies have been around forever. I forget that they're a little after our time."

"Or a lot after in your case," she smirks, leaning against him slightly.

"Hey, I'm not that much older than you."

"What was your favorite?"

"_Peter Pan_."

"So why are we watching _Lady and the Tramp_ then?" she gestures to the television, which is waiting for them to press the play button.

"Because… I just kind of picked one."

"Right," she grins. "The fact that you picked a romantic story is just a coincidence."

"Yes," he smiles back, wondering how he can get his arm around her without her noticing and causing him pain.

As the movie starts, she gives him a timid glance before resting her head on his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't get the wrong idea. He takes this as an invitation to put his arm around her. They sit, both engrossed in the movie, until the kiss scene. He looks down at her, suddenly getting the urge to kiss her again. She is busy watching the screen and doesn't notice what he is doing until she feels his lips press against her forehead.

Kate lifts her head up to look at him, "Castle…" He stares into her emerald eyes for a long moment before leaning forward to capture her lips with his. It takes a second for her to react and return the kiss, but she quickly pulls away when he tries to deepen it. "No," she says, forceful yet gentle. "That's not going to help anything."

"Sorry," he whispers, still staring at her. He is relieved when she returns to her previous position because she apparently trusts him enough not to do it again and because he hasn't completely ruined his chances with his momentary lapse in judgment.

When the movie ends, she sits up and looks over at him nervously. "You… you can stay tonight if you want."

"I don't know, Kate." He really wants to, but he doesn't think it best to push his luck.

"It's late, Castle. Just stay. You have to… stay on the couch because… it's… wrong for you to be in there… with me. But maybe… knowing I'm in the next room will help with the nightmares. And… I even promise to refrain from shooting you if you need to come in and check that I'm still okay in the middle of the night."

He examines her face and sees the she is being completely serious. "Okay… as long as you don't have a problem with it."

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't sure, Castle. Let me go get you a pillow and blanket. I might have a t-shirt that'll fit you but I don't think I have bottoms for you."

"It's fine. I'll sleep in my boxers. Or I can keep my jeans on if you'd rather me do that."

"Doesn't matter," she says, heading off to her bedroom. She returns a couple minutes later bearing a blanket, pillow, and white t-shirt.

"Thank you. Good night, Kate."

"Night, Castle." She gives him a small smile before heading back to her bedroom, where she changes into pajama pants and a tank top. Once she has climbed under the covers, she tries to shut her mind off in order to sleep. This doesn't go so well; an hour later she is still wide awake, her head and her heart too conflicted to allow her to rest.

**A/N: Decided to update a little early. And I wrote another chapter this weekend. Three more to go. Anyway, I will try to update again Tuesday, but I'm kind of busy that day so I may not get to it until Wednesday. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Her Decision

**Chapter 5: Her Decision**

_You gave it all, gave into the call_

Kate climbs out of bed, unable to fall asleep. She brushes her hair out of her face before she makes her way out to the living room. At the end of the couch, she stops. His eyes are closed, and his breathing is even. She hates to wake him for her own personal problems, but she has a feeling he won't mind at all. She tries to sit down on the edge of the couch as lightly as she can, but he stirs.

"Kate?" he asks, rubbing his eyes. "You okay?"

"Scoot over."

He does as she asks, and she lays down next to him, her back to his chest. "Are you sure nothing is wrong?" he asks timidly as he moves closer to her, pressing their bodies together and putting an arm around her waist.

"I can't sleep."

"You think too much."

"I really don't think you should be one to talk. You get up and write in the middle of the night."

"I can't help when inspiration hits me."

"And I can't shut off my brain," she counters.

"Maybe you just need to listen to your heart," he replies softly.

"I want to. I really do. But my brain just keeps telling me how risky that can be."

"Maybe he's worth that risk."

"And maybe he'll break my heart."

"I'm sure he'll try his very best not to because breaking your heart would break his," he says softly, rubbing patterns on her stomach through the cloth of her shirt.

"Rick…" she tries to turn her head back to look at his face but finds the position rather uncomfortable. She struggles to turn over so that they are face-to-face without falling off the couch.

He readjusts the blanket so that it is covering her before placing a hand on her back to draw her closer to him. She places a hand on his chest so that he can't move her. "Kate, I'm not -"

"Please."

"Okay," he says quietly, keeping his hand where it is but not applying pressure anymore.

"I need to know something," Kate looks at him, their faces only inches apart on the pillow.

"Ask away."

"I didn't give you my back up gun when we went in there. In the warehouse to save Ryan and Esposito. So… you used your hands. Would… would you have shot him if I had given you my gun?"

"Yes," he says with no hesitation, deciding that complete honesty was best with her. "He was going to take your life away, and I wouldn't have regretted taking his. No regrets at all… except for the fact that it would have put you at another dead end in your mother's case… because of me. And it probably wouldn't have looked too good for you if I shot someone while following you around…"

She contemplates this for a moment, and he smiles at how adorable she looks. "What?" she frowns, noticing his look.

"Nothing."

"What?" she asks, more serious this time.

"I… I was just thinking about how beautiful you look when you're thinking about something." She blushes. He brings a hand up to cup her cheek. "You're thinking too much again, Kate."

"I can't help it."

"I would try to take your mind off things, but you'd probably shoot me," he grins.

"Yes, I would. And if I'm going to stay out here with you tonight, you hands – and other body parts – should behave themselves. Or… I don't know what I'll do to you, but it'll be unpleasant."

"I would really like it if you'd use your handcuffs on me," his grin widens and his eyes sparkle mischievously.

"I assure you it'll be much more unpleasant than that."

"Then I shall try to control myself. No guarantees."

"No guarantee I won't kill you in my sleep either," she says, wiggling around to get comfortable.

"Kate, you know this would be ten times easier in a bed. I mean, if we're both sleeping in the same spot, we might as well be comfortable and not risk falling onto the floor."

"Not while Josh and I are still together."

"Okay. If you're not comfortable with me in your bed, we can take a cab back to my place."

"No beds."

"So let me get this straight: it's not cheating if we're not in a bed. Because in that case, there would be a lot of affairs that aren't really affairs."

"Castle, I can't explain it. It just… doesn't seem as bad if we're here instead of in a bedroom. I know my logic is messed up; I know _I'm_ messed up. Just… forget it."

"So what we're doing isn't cheating?"

"It is… technically. I mean we're not doing anything. But… it's still wrong. Please make me stop feeling like I'm a bad person."

"I don't think I can do that, Kate. But if it'll make you feel any better, I'll leave so you're not tempted to make things worse by me."

"No," she pulls them closer together. "Then I'll just sit here thinking about what an awful person I am."

"You are far from awful, Kate."

"I'm cheating on my boyfriend. I always said I would never, ever do that."

Rick sighs, completely confused, "Kate, I really need you to tell me what to do."

"All I know is that I want you to stay here with me," she whispers.

"Then I'm not going anywhere."

"Thanks," she snuggles closer to him, burying her face in his shoulder.

He rubs her back soothingly, "You know, Josh doesn't have to know about this."

"He wouldn't have to… except for the fact that you're famous and we're going to be all over the tabloids. He's going to know that I broke up with him to be with you. And he's going to suspect that something happened between us while he was gone, that I cheated on him. God, he's going to hate me."

"It's not like you have to see him ever again after you break up with him."

"I know… but sometimes you do. And it's always awkward."

They fall into a comfortable silence. He continues rubbing her back but is careful to avoid the inch of skin at her waist exposed by her shirt rising up. A thought suddenly occurs to him: she has implied that she would be breaking up with Josh. She had told him that she would need time to think about everything, but it seems that she has already made up her mind. And he has to be sure. "Kate?" he says softly, hoping not to wake her if she has fallen asleep.

"Hm?" she pulls back just enough so that she can look him in the eyes.

"I need to know something," he repeats her words from earlier. "Everything you've said implies that you've made up your mind. And I want to know if you have. I don't think you'd be cruel enough to lead me on like this, but it'd be pretty painful to find out that you're not choosing me."

Kate smiles at him before leaning forward to give him a short, gentle kiss. "Don't make me regret this decision, Rick."

"You won't."

"But just because I've made my decision doesn't mean things are going to be happening between us anytime soon."

"I know. I expect to take things slow, to do this right."

"In my definition, right means not sleeping together on my couch while I'm still with another man," she moves her head back to his shoulder. "But you're not going anywhere."

"No, I'm not."

**A/N: So I'm avoiding studying for my anatomy lab quiz right now... I can't wait until tomorrow night when I can go home. Of course it's only for like four days but it's better than nothing. Anyway... maybe I'll take a nap. The tornado sirens went off last night and interrupted my sleep; I think a nap might be needed. But I really should study one more time... Oh well. More Friday probably. Thanks.**


	6. Breakfast and Cherries

**Chapter 6: Breakfast and Cherries**

_You took a chance and_

Kate slowly opens her eyes, blinking to adjust to the light coming in through the window. She shifts her head to take in her surroundings. Castle is staring at her, and she jumps in surprise at seeing him so close to her.

"Good morning, Detective. I didn't mean to startle you," he smiles.

"It's fine. I just forgot where we were."

"You mean you forgot I was here."

"…Yes," she admits.

"Despite the fact that I was your pillow for part of the night and you used me as a heater?"

She stares at him for a moment, "Did you really stay up all night and watch me?"

"Not all night."

"That's kind of creepy."

"Possibly… if I was stalking you. But I just like to watch you."

"And it's still creepy. I'm sure watching me sleep has nothing to do with your research."

"I've done more than enough research for Nikki Heat. This is just purely for my own benefit."

She frowns at him, "I'm not really sure what benefit you get from watching me sleep other than the fact that it's the one time you can get away with it without me yelling at you for doing it."

"I think it's best we just drop this conversation," he suggests, tightening his grip on her slightly when she starts to move. "We should stay here all day."

"I have to work, Castle. I've already had two days off this week," she wiggles out of his grip. Upon standing, she stretches, her arms in the air above her head, which causes her shirt to rise. Castle stares at her with a smile on his face, and she freezes when she notices him. "What?"

"Nothing," Rick says quickly, looking back up to her face.

"That look was not nothing. Now what are you so happy about?"

He reaches out to touch her just inside and slightly above her hip bone, his fingers right above the tattoo now covered by the fabric, "Can I see what it is?"

"…No." His blue eyes meet her green ones, and he decides it best not to push her. She watches the disappointment flash in his eyes momentarily before he seems to give up. "Someday," she says softly, trying to assure him that she isn't angry with him or anything.

"Will you let me take you out to breakfast at least?"

Kate turns to check the time on the cable box. "I… Can breakfast wait until tomorrow?"

"You have to eat something."

"Coffee and a bear claw? I promise we can meet for breakfast tomorrow before I go in to work. You can bring Alexis too."

He sighs, "I guess it can be put off a day."

"Thank you."

"Do you… need some space today? I can stay home and get some writing done if you don't want me around."

She gives him a small smile, "As long as you can remain professional, you can come in later."

"What time is later?"

"How ever long it takes you to go home, shower, and get back to the precinct with my food."

"An hour?"

"I probably won't even be at the precinct in an hour, Castle."

"Don't have to be first at the precinct today?" he teases.

"No, we don't have a case yet. There's no need for me to rush getting ready."

"Then we can do breakfast."

"Breakfast is too slow. Besides, I already missed my workout this morning because I slept in with you."

He frowns at her, "What time do you get up in the morning, Beckett?"

"Five-thirty or six."

"Haven't you ever heard of sleeping in?" he looks at her in shock.

"I have murders to solve, criminals to catch."

"They can wait."

"No, they can't," she argues, not angry but just being stubborn. "Now get up and leave so I can get ready."

"You need food if you're going to be catching criminals."

"Which is why you're bringing me a bear claw."

"Which hardly constitutes food, Beckett. You really ought to take better care of yourself."

"That's what I have you for," Kate takes a seat beside him on the couch.

"You don't let me take care of you."

"Yes. You make sure I eat at least a couple meals a day. And you force me to go home and get some rest instead of staring at the murder board all night."

"What did you do before I came?" he says somewhat jokingly but seriously wondering how she took care of herself.

"I guess I didn't really. Not like you take care of me. While you were gone, Ryan and Esposito tried to take your place. They brought me food and tried to get me to go home. It wasn't the same though."

"I'm going to be here to take care of you from now on," Rick takes her hand.

"I know."

"So you promise breakfast will happen tomorrow? You're not going to try to get out of it again?"

"Unless we get a really important case and Montgomery won't let me come in a little late, I will be there."

"Okay," he smiles.

"Invite your mother and Alexis to join us, and we can discuss what we're going to do with you."

"Do with me?" he looks slightly worried.

"Yes. About you shadowing me and writing. And not being in danger."

"Oh… I guess I forgot about that."

"Yes. And if we're all there, maybe we can agree on something that will make both them happy and you happy."

"And what about you? What do you want?"

"I want you to be safe, and if you not following me anymore is going to do that, then I'm okay with it."

"We'll still see each other, right?"

Kate squeezes his hand, "I thought we went through this already."

"So you're really going to do this? You want to take this risk?"

"Yes," she smiles. "Josh comes home on Tuesday, and I'm picking him up from the airport. I will try to talk to him then, but I have to come up with some reason for breaking up with him."

"What about because you never see each other? I know how much you work, and every time I ask about him when you are leaving, you tell me he's working. Doesn't sound like you spend much time together."

"I guess. But I still feel bad about breaking up with him right after he gets back."

"Then take a few days to do it. I can wait a little longer."

They sit there in silence for a bit longer until she looks up at the clock. "Castle, you really have to go. I'm going to be late for work."

"Oh… sorry," he stands and reaches for his jeans. "You go ahead and shower. I'll lock the door behind me, and see you in a little bit with your breakfast."

"Thanks," she presses her lips to his cheek before heading to her bedroom.

He watches her go, his skin still tingling where she had kissed it. He quickly pulls on his jeans, then realizes he is still wearing the t-shirt she had given him. As he grabs it to pull it over his head, he notices that it smells faintly like cherries. Smiling, he decides she wouldn't mind if he kept it a little longer. He would just tell her he had taken it home to wash… which he most definitely was not going to do. At least not until she allows him to get close enough so that he could always smell cherries.

**A/N: I'll try to update again Monday. Thanks for reading.**


	7. A Surprise Visitor

**Chapter 7: A Surprise Visitor**

_You took a fall for us_

Loud knocking causes her to stir. She sits up from her position on the couch, and her blanket falls off of her body. As she rubs her eyes, she thinks about who it could be. Castle was the only one that came to mind. Sure, she had told him she needed some space tonight so she could actually get a full eight hours of sleep. And yes, she had regretted that decision as soon as she got home, hence her currently sleeping on her couch. Add that to the fact the he never listened, and she was almost positive he was the culprit.

The knocking continues, and she slowly makes her way to the door. The person on the other side is definitely not the one she expected. "Josh?" she frowns at him. "What are you doing here?" He stares at her for a moment, and she realizes that she sounded angry with him. "I mean… I thought you weren't coming back until Tuesday. I was going to pick you up."

"I was. But we only had two pharmacists with us. One had to leave because of a family emergency, and the other couldn't keep up with all the doctors writing prescriptions so a few of us left early." Josh drops his suitcase inside her door and pulls her in for a hug, "I thought I'd surprise you by coming over. I didn't think you'd already be asleep. I wouldn't have come if I had known."

"It's good to see you," she forces a smile onto her face as she slowly wraps her arms around him.

"I missed you, Kate," he pulls his head back to look at her.

Kate doesn't really know what to say to this; she hadn't really missed him and doesn't want to lie. "How was your trip?" she decides to ask, feeling this is a safe topic.

"It was good. We helped a lot of people while we were there. And it was fun too. I think I'm going to go back again in the summer. You should totally join me."

"Josh, I don't know. I can't really do anything to help them. I'm only trained for emergencies."

"There would be plenty that you could help with."

She knows she should say something, but she can't bring herself to do it yet. He had just gotten back, and she couldn't break his heart right now. "Josh… I was kind of hoping to catch up on some sleep tonight. It's kind of late."

"Oh, sure. Maybe we can talk more in the morning before you go in to work. Go out to breakfast or something. I have to get up and check in with the hospital anyway."

"Yeah… okay," she says, momentarily forgetting about Castle and her promise to be at breakfast with his family.

Josh picks up his suitcase and steps further into her apartment before noticing her couch. "Why were you out here?"

"Oh, I was reading," she gestures to Castle's book laying on the table, which she had not been reading. "Fell asleep and didn't feel like moving."

"I need to take a shower, but I'll join you in bed in a bit."

They make their way back to her bedroom. Josh immediately heads to the bathroom, and she crawls into bed. It had felt so wrong to spend the previous night with Castle, but now it feels wrong to her to spend the night with her boyfriend. The boyfriend who she is going to be breaking up with soon. While she can still hear the shower water running, she decides to send Castle a text to let him know that breakfast is not going to be possible the next morning.

After sending the message, she sets her phone back on the nightstand as she waits for a response, one that might not come until morning. The shower water shuts off, and she hears the door slide open. Her phone vibrates. She really wants to know that he isn't angry with her for cancelling, but she has to pretend to be asleep. Josh had been gone for three weeks and is probably expecting her to make that up to him tonight. And she knows that it would be incredibly awkward to sleep with him when her heart is no longer in it. Although, to be honest with herself, her heart had never really been in this relationship; it had belonged to someone else since before the summer had started. So she decides pretending to be asleep would be the best way to get out of it; she hadn't been expecting him, and she had told him she was trying to catch up on sleep. Hopefully he would be sympathetic.

Josh climbs in next to her, scooting over close to her. She does her best to keep her breathing even and her eyes closed as he puts an arm around her. "Kate?" he says softly. She doesn't move. "I'm a doctor, Kate; I know you're not asleep."

She opens her eyes and turns her head toward him. "Josh, I…"

"Are you mad at me? For coming over here without calling? Or for going away? Or anything? Because things don't seem the same. What happened?"

"I'm not mad at you."

"Then what happened? Kate, you can tell me," he watches her, waiting for her to say something. She doesn't know what to say. "Did that writer do something?"

"That writer is someone I trust."

"More than me?"

She hesitates for only a second, "Yes."

"What changed? Was it just me not being here?"

"Josh, my mother was murdered… twelve years ago. They never solved her case. We found the guy who killed her last year, but someone hired him to kill her. We got a lead last week. There were a whole bunch of them involved in this conspiracy, and we're still looking for them."

"And he knew about this?" Josh asks.

"Yes. He's my friend. A good friend."

"You can still be friends. But that doesn't change us. I still don't understand what happened between us."

"Opening my mother's case made me realize something, Josh. You're a great guy, and you're going to make some woman very happy one day. But it's not me," Kate looks away from him.

"You're breaking up with me… for him, aren't you?" She nods, deciding that she might as well tell him the truth. "Do you know how many women he's been with? He's just following you around so he can get you in bed. I doubt you'll even last a month before he finds someone new."

"Don't say things like that, Josh. You don't know him."

"Kate, why are you risking everything for him? I can give you more than he can, and I won't hurt you."

"We never see each other, Josh. That's why this thing between us works. We're both too busy with our jobs to really invest ourselves in this relationship, and I don't want that anymore."

He reaches for her hands, "Then we can change things, Kate. We can get serious about this relationship, and we can make things work."

"I can't. It's not fair to you or me for us to continue this while my heart is not in it."

Josh climbs out of bed to get dressed, "I guess I should've seen this coming. You changed the moment he came back into your life. He already hurt you once, Kate, and he's going to do it again. And don't come asking me for forgiveness."

"Josh," she protests, sitting up in the bed. This definitely was not how she had wanted things to go. Before she can think of anything else to say, he has left.

**A/N: Now we've gotten rid of him... Anyway, I will try to reply to reviews this time. And I will try to update Thursday but it seems like I have a lot to do this week. Thanks.**


	8. Castle's Girlfriend

**Chapter 8: Castle's Girlfriend**

_You came thoughtfully, loved me faithfully_

"Kate," Castle smiles upon seeing her outside his door but looks somewhat surprised. "What are you doing here? I thought you said Josh came back last night so we couldn't have breakfast."

"He did. And… he knew something was different. So I told him. And he left."

"You okay?" he asks, placing a hand on her arm.

"Yeah… it just didn't go the way I had planned. But it's fine," she gives him a small smile.

"Why don't you come in? Mother and Alexis haven't gotten up yet," he offers, pulling her inside.

"I know I said breakfast wouldn't work, but maybe we could still talk about things when they get up. Montgomery said coming in a little late wasn't a problem; he's concerned about your safety too."

"I really don't know what you all are so worried about," he argues, leading her to the kitchen.

"We care about you, Rick. We don't want to lose you. And Montgomery… well, for him it'd just look bad for you to die following me around."

"I guess all good things have to end."

"…Yes. But aren't you getting something better?"

"Something much better," he agrees, placing a kiss on her cheek. "Why don't I make breakfast and we'll wake them up and we can still have our discussion?"

"I thought you were dreading this discussion?"

"I was. But if I still get to spend plenty of time with you, I think I can manage. I just might have to buy you a dog, though, since you won't have me to follow you around anymore."

Kate raises an eyebrow, "A dog?"

"Yes. You're going to need a new partner and best friend if I can't be there."

"I don't think Montgomery would be too pleased about a dog following me around."

"But I could totally train him so that he can protect you. He can look out for people trying to shoot you and knock you to the ground and then attack them."

"And then instead of me getting shot you'd have the dog getting shot."

He frowns, thinking. "Then we'll buy him one of those vests," he offers.

"Which probably don't work any better than ours do."

"They don't work? Kate, I'm not going to let you go after another criminal again if they don't work," he grabs her arms.

"They do work… to a certain extent. Castle, you don't have anything to worry about."

"Yes, I do," he protests. "You're going to get killed because I'm not there."

Alexis walks into the kitchen before she can speak. She stops when she sees them. "Detective Beckett? Dad, I thought you said we weren't going to breakfast this morning. I wouldn't have slept in if I had known."

"It's fine. She cancelled, but then things happened, and now she can meet again. I was just going to make breakfast here though."

"Okay. Do you want me to get Gram up?"

"She can sleep for a little longer. Why don't you help me cook?" he smiles at his daughter.

"Sure."

"Can I do anything?" Beckett offers.

"No, just sit there and look pretty," he tells her with a smirk.

Alexis glances at them but doesn't comment. "So Detective Beckett, how are you doing?"

"Okay. And I've already told you to call me Kate, Alexis," she smiles at the teenager.

"So what exactly did you want to talk about, Kate?"

"I thought the four of us could talk about your dad shadowing me. You two said you didn't like him being in danger, and I thought we could come to an agreement that would make all three of you happy."

"What about you?"

Kate glances at Castle, having already answered this question when he asked it. "I'll be happy if he's not in danger."

Martha descends the stairs and joins them, "Kate, how wonderful for you to join us this morning."

"It's nice to see you again too, Martha," the detective smiles at the older woman as she sits down beside her.

"What are you making for breakfast, dear? Hopefully not those s'morelets again. You're trying to impress her, remember?" she addresses her son.

"I was going to make chocolate chip pancakes, Mother," he looks over at them.

"I guess chocolate goes better with pancakes than with omelets," the red-head looks over at her granddaughter, who is making eggs.

"S'morelets?" Kate looks skeptical.

"That's what we thought too," Alexis smiles at her reassuringly.

"Maybe I shouldn't let you be in charge of making sure I eat," she teases him.

"Hey, I've never let you down before," Castle protests.

"Apparently he tests all of his strange creations on us first," the teenager turns back to the eggs.

"Well… now that we're all here, maybe we could talk about the issue at hand," the brunette suggests.

"I'm not an issue." All three women glare at him. "Okay, gang up on me like that."

"I was thinking that maybe we could compromise. None of us want him to get hurt, but he doesn't seem too fond of not being able to follow me around at all."

"Hey, I told you that I could manage without following you around," he points his spatula at her.

"No, I agree with Kate. Just stopping probably isn't going to help you write. You need to keep shadowing her so that you can write," Martha agrees.

"But not every day. Maybe you could just go in three or four days a week, Dad," Alexis inputs. "And then you both can get work done when you're not at the precinct."

"We get work done. Don't we, Beckett?"

"He is surprisingly helpful," she agrees.

"Now that you actually admitted that I am helpful, I guess I could stay home a few days a week," he concedes.

"And when you do come in, you are to listen to what I tell you to do. If I tell you to stay in the car, that is what you will do. I don't care what happens. And if you don't listen, you're stuck at home for a week. And next time I don't want you to follow me, I will handcuff you into the car with as many pairs of handcuffs as I can find so that you can't disobey."

He wants to comment on this but decides not to with his mother and daughter still in the room. "I suppose I could listen to you… once in a while," he says, placing a plate full of chocolate chip pancakes on the table.

"Richard," Martha says sternly.

"Fine, I'll be good and do everything you tell me."

"Dad," Alexis warns. "Kate's got enough to worry about. Don't make her job more difficult."

"Do you want me to pinky promise?" Castle asks his daughter with a smile.

"Yes," she holds her hand out. They lock pinkies.

"Kate?" he turns to her, pinky extended.

"I'm good."

"Are you sure, Detective?" he grins mischievously at her.

"Yes."

"I don't know. I kind of want you to promise me that punishment."

"Castle," she glares.

"Really, Dad? Do you have to do that?" Alexis gives him a disgusted look.

"Yes."

"Just because I have a boyfriend of my own doesn't mean I want to see you flirting with your girlfriend."

He overlooks his daughter's label, "I don't want to see you flirting with your boyfriend either so we're in agreement."

Both the teenager and the mother look over at the detective, waiting for her to protest. She doesn't, too busy staring at her hands resting on the counter.

"Wait…" Castle looks from one to the other, wondering what is wrong. "Did you say girlfriend?"

**A/N: More on Sunday maybe. I have to get my paper written this weekend... not so fun. Thanks for reading.**


	9. Nosy Relatives

**Chapter 9: Nosy Relatives**

_You taught me honor, you did it for me_

"…Maybe," Alexis answers tentatively.

Castle grabs Kate's arm and pulls her down the hallway to his office. She struggles to get him to let go of her, "Castle, what is your problem?"

"I want to talk to you," he says, closing his office door behind them.

"And you had to drag me here?"

"I guess not…"

"So what do you want?"

He lets go of her arm and steps back from her, "You're not… mad about the whole girlfriend thing, are you? Because I'm sure she didn't mean it."

"It's fine."

"Really? Because I can make her apologize and we can pretend it didn't happen. We don't even have to tell them right away."

"Castle, it's fine," she repeats.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to tell them now?"

Kate hesitates, "No. Not until it's actually true."

"We're… not dating?"

"Not yet."

"And when does it become official?" he asks, slightly confused.

"When we have our first date."

"Then would you like to have dinner with me tonight, Detective?"

She shakes her head. "Give me a couple days, Castle."

"…Okay…"

"I'm not going to change my mind, Rick. I just need a few days," she tries to reassure him, resting a hand on his arm.

"I guess I can give you a couple days."

"Thanks for understanding," she presses a kiss to his cheek before turning to leave.

He grabs her hand, "Wait."

She turns back to him, "What?" He looks away from her, not really sure how to make his request. "Rick, what's wrong?" she gently prods.

"The nightmares came back last night." Rick looks up at her, but now she is looking away. "I know that it's really not right since we're not together yet. But I need to be close to you, to know that you're okay. Please, Kate. We don't even have to be in the same room. You could stay in the guest room here. Or I'd be willing to sleep on your couch again. I just need to be close enough to check that you're not hurt."

"Castle…"

"Kate."

She looks down at her hand still covered by his, "You won't try anything?"

"Of course not. And if I do, I'll let you handcuff me someplace dark and scary."

"What will Alexis and your mother say about this?"

"They won't judge you. In fact, they'll probably laugh when they found out you're staying here because I'm scared."

"They won't. It's understandable for you to feel this way. Remember when Jenny stopped by the precinct a couple weeks after they got engaged? She asked us to take care of Ryan. And Lanie has mentioned stuff to me and Ryan about having Esposito's back."

"Now you're making me sound like a girl," he smiles lightly at her.

"Maybe you're mother and Alexis are wearing off on you," she smiles back.

"You know… we could just tell them something's wrong with your apartment, and you can't stay there for a few days. They don't have to know about us until you're ready to tell them."

"Do you really think that they're still sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast?" He frowns at her. "We didn't just talk about making sure you weren't in danger at lunch the other day, Rick. They wanted me to know how much you care about me."

"They did what? I can't believe they interfered with this. I swear I didn't put them up to it, Kate."

She takes his other hand in hers, "I know you didn't. And what they did was kind of sweet. They care about you."

"You didn't say yes to me because of them, did you?"

"Do you really think I would do that, Rick? I care about you. What they said got me thinking about us, but it was you coming to me and telling me how you feel that made the difference."

"Are you okay with them knowing?" Castle squeezes her hands.

"I would have rather waited until we knew things were going okay before telling them. That way if something did happen they wouldn't get hurt too. But I'd much rather have them know than the paparazzi."

"I will do my best to hold them off as long as possible, Kate."

"I know you will."

"So… you really think they're spying on us?" he grins.

"Well, they are related to you, and I'm pretty sure you'd be listening if you were in their position."

"How can we get them back?"

"You really want to punish them for this?"

"Obviously."

"And the other day I thought you were sweet," she rolls her eyes and pulls her hands away from his. "I will take no part in this."

"Come on, Kate," he whines.

"No. And if they are listening, they've heard everything. They know we're together."

"And now you've just confirmed it for them."

She shakes her head at him again before pulling open the door to head back to the kitchen. Martha and Alexis are standing outside the door. She looks back at him pointedly. Castle frowns at all three of them, the detective for being right and his relatives for listening to their conversation.

"Is it true?" Alexis asks. "You and Dad…?"

Kate only hesitates for a split second, "Yes."

The teenager practically throws herself at the detective, enveloping her in a hug, "This is so awesome."

Rick meets her eye over his daughter's shoulder, "Okay, Alexis. Breakfast is getting cold, and she has to get to work."

"Sorry," she pulls back blushing.

The four make their way back to the kitchen and start to dish themselves food. They no sooner get settled when his cell phone rings. He sighs when he looks at the screen. "It's Paula. I better take this, or she'll get angry."

"Go ahead," she smiles lightly before turning back to her pancakes. He heads back to his office to take the call.

"So Gram and I were thinking," Alexis begins. "Maybe you could give Dad some training since he'll still be following you around. I know he's supposed to stay in the car, but we both know he doesn't listen. And you said that you sometimes end up in dangerous situations without intending to. If he has some training, maybe he would have a better chance of not being hurt."

"I guess it's possible."

"You'll think about it?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks, Kate."

The detective sets her fork down and turns to the two red-heads, "I want you both to know that I'm going to do everything I can to keep him safe so that he can come home to you every night."

"We really appreciate that, Kate," Martha smiles. "But please don't get yourself killed in the process. Richard would be devastated if something happened to you because of him."

She is about to say something else to them when her phone starts to ring. "Excuse me," she apologizes and steps away from the table. "Beckett."

"We've got a body. I know Montgomery gave you some time off this morning, but I thought you'd be interested in seeing the scene."

"Where?" she asks, and he gives her the address. "Okay. I'll be there in twenty."

"Don't forget to bring Writer-Boy," Esposito smirks before hanging up.

Beckett turns back to them. "I… have to go solve a murder. Have Castle call me when he's done talking to Paula," she turns to the door. Then she remembers their agreement and turns back to them. "I mean… if he's going to come in today."

"Bye, Kate," both of them say.

"Thanks for breakfast," she says before shutting the door behind her.

**A/N: Now to get my paper written... and avoid trying to finish this story up. And watching the clip for tomorrow's episode. Well, more Tuesday or Wednesday depending on when I can fit it in. I have tons of tests to study for this week. Thanks for reading.**


	10. A Business Trip

**Chapter 10: A Business Trip**

_Tonight you will sleep for good_

"Hey," he says softly as he approaches her.

"Hey," she replies, turning her head from the murder board to accept the coffee he is offering her.

"Sorry I didn't make it to the scene. I had to talk with Mother and Alexis for a little bit."

"Something wrong?"

"Not exactly. Do you… have a minute?"

"Sure."

Castle leads her to the break room. "Paula called this morning. They need me to go out to Los Angeles for the movie. They have a couple questions and need some suggestions about how to do parts of the movie. And there's some paperwork that needs taken care of."

"Okay," she looks at him, waiting expectantly for him to tell her more.

"I was wondering if you would…"

Before he can continue, she interrupts, "Castle, I can't take time off of work to go with you."

"Okay… that wasn't exactly what I wanted to ask."

"Then what?"

"Well, Mother leaves for Chicago tomorrow to work on a play. I'd take Alexis with me, but she doesn't want to miss a few days of school. I was wondering if maybe you could take care of her while I'm gone."

"Castle, you're always telling me I don't take care of myself. How do you expect me to take care of your daughter?" she raises an eyebrow.

"I… don't know. Maybe I should be asking her to take of you," he smirks, then turns serious again. "Look, she's seventeen. She can pretty much take care of herself. I just want someone there to make sure nothing happens to her. And nothing happens between her and Ashley if there's no adult supervision."

"I thought you trusted her?"

"I… do. But he's a teenage boy, Kate. He can corrupt her. Especially if he's anything like I was at that age."

"Still are," she corrects with a small smile. "But I don't know, Castle. I have to work, and you know how crazy my hours are."

"They don't have to be, Kate. Every other detective here leaves a reasonable time. I admire you because you always put the victims above yourself, but I think for a few days you can leave when your shift ends. And I know you have this Saturday off."

"I can't cook, Castle. I'm sure you don't let your daughter eat take out all of the time."

He smiles, "Then you're in luck. I'm sure she'd be willing to make a few meals. She does when I'm following you around; and we don't always trust Mother's cooking."

"Rick…"

"Please, Kate. You can stay in the guest room or in my room if you want. And I'll leave my credit card so you don't have to pay for anything. And Saturday maybe you can hang out, get to know each other better now that we're together."

"I'm sure she has other plans that don't involve hanging out with someone nearly twice her age."

"She likes you, Kate. She'll want to spend time with you."

"Okay, Castle. I'll watch her. Now, exactly, how long are you going to be gone?"

"Thank you so much, Kate," he hugs her without really thinking about it. She struggles against him, and he realizes where they are and that he shouldn't have done that. Quickly he releases her. "I'll be gone five days. I leave Wednesday morning and come back Sunday afternoon."

"Do that again, and we're done," she threatens. He opens his mouth to protest, but she cuts him off. "I mean it, Castle. Someone could have walked in and seen us. I don't need that; _we_ don't need that."

He nods, "I'm sorry, Kate."

"Beckett when we're at work."

"Sorry."

"I know you are. And I don't mean to snap at you about this, but we need to remain professional when you're shadowing me."

"I understand, and I'll try my best to stay professional."

Before she can reply, Ryan and Esposito walk in. "Castle, you made it in today," they smile at him.

"Of course I did," he smiles back. "I couldn't let you solve a murder without me."

"Actually, guys, Castle isn't going to be around as much anymore," she informs them. All three men turn to her.

"What?" Ryan asks. "You're kicking him out?"

"What did you do, bro?" Esposito looks at the writer questioningly.

"He didn't do anything. Martha and Alexis are concerned about his safety while he's around us, and I completely agreed with them. So he's not going to be here every day anymore. And he's to stay in the car and listen to what he is told to do."

"You cool with this, Castle?"

"Not really, but I guess if it makes them happy…" he replies. "But don't worry, guys. We can still play videogames every week. You're not completely losing me. Besides, I don't think she could solve as many murders without me."

"Really, Castle?" she arches an eyebrow. "Because you can just quit shadowing me altogether, and we'll see if my close rate drops."

"I'd rather not. We don't want all those people to suffer," he grins. "However, guys, I will have to cancel on the games this weekend. I have a business trip."

"You going to see Natalie Rhodes?"

"Yes. They need a little help with the movie."

"Are you going to sleep with her this time if she asks?" Ryan asks.

"No. That'd just be… creepy. Especially if she's still imitating our Beckett."

Kate rolls her eyes, "You do know I'm standing right here."

"Yes."

"Did you guys find anything?"

"Nope. Back to the murder board."

"Why don't you two take a break, grab some lunch? I'll fill Castle in while you're gone; maybe he'll have an idea."

"Seriously?" Ryan asks, looking over at his partner.

"Yes."

The boys hurry out of there before she can change her mind. "So, Detective, you just wanted me all to yourself, didn't you?" the writer is smiling at her again.

"Most definitely not." She turns to make herself a fresh cup of coffee. "So… are you going to see Meredith while you're out there?"

"Probably not. I haven't talked to her in forever," he frowns, wondering why she would ask such a thing. "Why?"

"No reason."

But he knows she never does anything without reason. "Kate, I'm not going to sleep with her. Or any other woman out there. Or here for that matter. It's just you now; it's been that way for a while."

"A while? You were just with your ex-wife, Castle."

"We hadn't really been together for a month before we broke up, not since before I bought the bar. And even then I wasn't really in it; I didn't want to be with her."

She bites her lip before turning her head to look him in the eye, "Really?"

"Yes."

And she knows he is being honest with her. "I started dating Josh over the summer. I thought it'd help me get over you leaving. He was perfect, and I thought that eventually maybe I could fall in love with him. You came back, and I tried to love him because he was better for me. But you wormed your way back in, Castle."

"Seriously? You're comparing me to a worm?" he feigns being hurt.

"What would you like me to compare you to?"

"I don't know. You and Agent Shaw comparing me to a dog was better than being a worm."

She smirks at him, grabbing her cup of coffee off of the counter, "We have a case to solve, Castle. You'll have to grieve later."

**A/N: Sorry for not replying to reviews. Hopefully I will be able to do so this chapter. I have to go study for my chemistry test and religion test right now and decided I should update but don't really have time to answer reviews so thanks to all of you that reviewed last chapter. I will try to update again this weekend sometime if I don't kill myself with anatomy in the meantime. Next week is going to be horrible in that class. Anyway, thanks for reading.**


	11. Official

**Chapter 11: Official**

_You will wait for me my love_

"Mother and Alexis are making dinner."

"You don't have to stay, Castle. Go home and have dinner with them," she continues to stare at the murder board, deep in thought.

"Come with me." He can see her body tense for a moment before she turns to look at him, about to give some feeble excuse. "Kate, it's almost seven o'clock. Ryan and Esposito have left already; you can't do anything without backup even if you do find something to solve the case. Take a break."

"Rick, I can't."

"You're shift is over. Come home."

"I don't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be. You're part of the family, Kate, and even more so now that we're together."

"You do realize that you asked me to dinner this morning. And I said no then too."

"That was a date. This is just dinner with my family, nothing more."

She bites her lip before responding, "Except you asked me to stay tonight."

"I… did. But you don't have to. Just come over for dinner and then you can go home, take a nice long bath."

"My new place doesn't have a bathtub," Kate states.

He stares at her for a long moment, "What are you going to do if another crazy fan blows your apartment up?"

She shrugs with a small smile, "Have to find someplace else to hide."

"You can take a bath at my place tonight if you'd like. Relax a little after dinner. It's the least I can do for you… for helping me out with this problem."

"It's not a problem, Castle. Really. And I completely understand what you're going through."

"So is that a yes to dinner?" Rick reaches for her hand after checking to make sure everyone else is gone.

"Yes. But I want to stop at my place first. Grab a few things."

"No problem. You ready to leave now?"

She glances at the board one last time, "Yeah, I guess we're not going to get any further tonight." He grabs her coat from the back of her chair and holds it out for her. She looks around the precinct before giving him a small smile and putting her coat on, "Thanks."

Their drive to her apartment is made in silence. Castle places at hand on her back as they ride the elevator up to her floor. "Thank you for everything, Kate. These past few days have meant a lot to me," he tells her before the doors open.

"I already told you it really isn't a big deal. I'm sure Little Castle will behave; she seems ten times easier than her father does."

"Hey, you wound me," he frowns.

"Are you going to be okay?" she turns to face him outside her door, her face completely serious.

He smirks, "I think I might need a kiss."

Kate stares at him for a long moment, and he begins to think she's angry with him. When she turns to open her door, he's pretty sure he's messed up. She holds the door open for him, and he cautiously follows her inside, not sure if it's safe; she could murder him, and no one would ever find out. Before he knows what has happened, she's closed the door and has him backed against it.

"Kate…" he swallows nervously.

"This what you had in mind, Castle?" she smirks, their faces inches apart.

"Not… exactly. Not at this point at least. I thought you were going to kill me," he rambles.

"Castle?"

"Yeah."

"Shut up," she presses her lips to his. He puts his arms around her, pulling her body close to his. Flipping them around so she is against the door, he tries to deepen the kiss. She gently pushes him back and rests her forehead on his shoulder.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have done that," he whispers, keeping his eyes closed.

"It's fine, Castle. I'm just afraid that we're not going to be able to stop if we keep going. And I don't want to take this too fast."

"I understand," he presses a kiss to her temple.

She takes his hands and leads him to her bedroom. While he sits on the edge of her bed, she starts to pack a bag for the next week, which would be spent at his loft. He watches her pack, turning away when she gets to her underclothes. "I didn't know you could be so modest, Castle," she teases light.

He ignores her comment. "I was thinking that maybe… we could have our first date before I leave Wednesday."

"Rick… I… I don't know. I think it would be better to wait."

"Okay. Yeah, that's fine. I just thought we could make it official before I left," he offers.

She looks up at him, meeting his eyes. She can see that he isn't referring to what she thought he was. "I… Castle…" She turns away and bites her lip, trying to decide how to put this. "It doesn't need to be official before you go, Castle. Not with a date. I know you're not going to do anything in LA, and if you are, it's going to happen even if we are official."

"What do you need me to do to make you sure that I'm never going to cheat on you?"

"Nothing. I trust you, Rick. I know that you're not going to cheat on me. You pretend to be a playboy for the press, but I know that that's not the real you."

"Are you sure you don't need any kind of reassurance? Because I'd do anything for you."

She shakes her head, "I'm sure."

"I'm sure Paula is going to make me go out to some parties or something. And she's going to make me go with somebody. I want you to know that the girls she sets me up with mean nothing to me. They're not going to end up in my bed."

"I understand."

"You do?"

"Yes. If I'm not going to go with you, someone else is. For now, I can deal with that. When things get more serious, we'll talk about it again and decide what to do."

"I want things to be serious with us from the beginning," he touches her cheek to get her to meet his eyes.

Kate stares at him for a long moment, "I'm serious about you too, Castle."

"Then let's discuss my publicity and what you want to do about this. I know it really isn't your thing, and I respect that. So we need to talk about what we want to do."

"You're concern is very touching," she takes a seat beside him. "I really appreciate you trying to make me feel comfortable with this. But I don't want to talk about this right now. Go off to LA and have fun. When you come back, we'll go out to dinner, and we'll eventually discuss what we're going to do."

"Kate, I just think we need to get this out there as soon as possible. I don't want to mess this up by pushing it off."

She reaches for his hand, "Yes, we do need to talk about this. But it doesn't have to be anytime soon. I'll let you know when I think it's necessary."

"You're not going to hold it against me if we do put this conversation off?"

"Of course not. It was my decision."

Rick stands and turns to face her. "So are you ready to go now? Because I'm getting kind of hungry."

She smiles, "Yeah, I guess so." She reaches over to zip her bag up, and before she can put it on her shoulder, he takes it from her. "Castle, I can carry my own suitcase."

"I know. But I want to. It's the least I can do."

"You've already done more for me than you realize."

**A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews. I hope to update either Tuesday or Wednesday but it's the last week of the quarter. And I have like three anatomy tests coming up and I really want to keep my A in this class. I've kind of given up on religion and will take a B in that class. Anyway... can't wait for the new episode tomorrow. Doesn't look as good as some of the others but I'm sure it'll be entertaining.**


	12. Fears Revealed

**Chapter 12: Fears Revealed**

_Now I am strong_

She pokes her head in his office, "I'm going to bed."

"Are you telling me this because you want me to join you?" he grins mischievously.

"No, you have your own bed."

"So you're in the guest room tonight?" She nods. "You have your gun?" Another nod. "Are you going to shoot me if I check on you in the middle of the night?"

"I'll try to restrain myself," she smirks.

"If you can't restrain yourself, then I won't be able to restrain myself from staying in there with you."

She frowns, "You'll be dead if you do. Maybe the first shot won't kill you, but I'll be sure to make the second one count."

"Maybe we should put your gun somewhere. We wouldn't want Alexis to find it and accidently shoot herself," he tries to convince her, definitely more for his own protection than his daughter's.

"Good night, Castle," she rolls her eyes.

"Wait, I don't get a good night kiss?" Rick whines.

"No," she calls back, already down the hall.

He contemplates following her to get his kiss but decides not to considering she has her gun. He daydreams for a little longer about her before turning back to Nikki Heat. He is so enthralled in his writing that he doesn't notice her come in twenty minutes later until she sits on his desk. He studies her for a moment, trying to discern the look on her face, which is one he hasn't seen before. "What's wrong?" he finally asks.

"I can't sleep," she draws her knees up to her chest.

"Nightmares?"

"Worse," she says quietly, taking a deep breath before continuing. "There's a gigantic spider on the ceiling."

He frowns, "Can't you just squash it?"

"No, it's enormous. I don't like spiders, and you're the guy; you're supposed to take care of these things."

"I don't like them either," he frowns. "If it's as big as you say it is, just shoot it."

"It keeps moving. And I'll wake Alexis and Martha if I fire at it."

"You're the brave one, Kate. What do you want me to do about it?" he asks, panicking. She was right; it is his job to take care of these things. And he knows that if he doesn't, she will let the entire precinct know that he's afraid of spiders. Of course, he could always tell everyone that she is also afraid of them. "They have too many legs and eyes, and they're just… creepy," he shivers.

"I was bit by one when I was seven. I think I have more reason to be afraid than you," she counters.

"Okay… let's just close the door and trap it in there. You can stay in my room tonight. We'll take care of it tomorrow."

"No," she shakes her head at him with a glare. "I am not sleeping with that thing in the room next door. And it can get out. The cracks in the door and the air conditioning ducts and… Castle, you're going to take care of that thing right now."

"Why me?" he protests.

"Because I said so." She grabs him and drags him to the kitchen, carefully avoiding the guest room with the spider by taking the long route to the kitchen.

"What do you expect me to do, Kate?" he looks around the kitchen as if some magic spider killer will appear.

"I don't care what you do as long as it dies," she says rather loudly as she sits on the counter to wait for him.

He gives up his search and studies her. In two years together, he had never seen her so scared and vulnerable, with the exception of the week before with her mother's case reopening. "Kate," Castle walks over to her, resting his hands on the counter beside her legs, "you face the worst of humanity every day, and I've never seen you visibly shaken like this. How can you be so afraid of something so… insignificant compared to that?"

She shrugs, not looking at him.

"Kate?"

"I already told you I got bit."

"Bad?"

"Bad enough."

He moves one of his hands to her knee, "It's okay to be scared. I didn't mean to degrade you. This is just… not a side of you I'm used to seeing."

She glances at him, giving a small nod. "You'll take care of it?"

"What's going on down here?" Martha asks, descending the stairs.

Kate and Rick look up at her. "I'm sorry, Martha. I didn't mean to wake you. It's just that there's a spider on the ceiling, and I… don't like them."

"That's an understatement," he mumbles.

"Would you like me to see if Alexis will take care of it, Richard?"

"I'll take care of it, Mother. There's no need to wake her," he says, backing away from her to resume his search for spider-destroying equipment.

"Nonsense, Richard. It's not going to end well if you go in there. Just let her handle it," his mother turns and heads back up the stairs before he can protest again.

Alexis comes down minutes later, "Gram said there's a spider?"

"In the guest room. She can't sleep with it there."

The teenager looks from one to the other before grabbing a few paper towels and heading down the hall. She returns five minutes later with the paper towel crumpled up.

"You're sure it's dead?" he asks.

"You want to check?" she offers him the paper towels.

He shivers, "No thanks. I'll trust you."

"Good night," the red-head heads to the stairs after tossing the paper towels.

"Alexis?" Kate says timidly. She turns back. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Castle takes her hands, "Are we good now? Ready for bed?"

"Can I stay with you tonight?" she whispers, still not looking at him.

He lets go of one of her hands so that he can lift her chin up, "Kate, you don't have to be embarrassed. I completely understand your fear."

"Is that a yes?"

"Of course. You don't have to ask for anything, Kate."

She slides off the counter, and he follows her down the hallway to his room. He smiles to himself at how comfortable she looks sliding into his bed. She turns back to him to find him staring, "What?"

"Nothing."

For once she actually doesn't pry. "Are you going to just stand there?"

Rick hesitates, "I can sleep on the couch if that'd make you more comfortable."

"As long as your hands aren't going to wander too much, I want you here. But first you have to get all my stuff from the guest room."

"All? Kate, it can stay there for the night."

"No, I need my gun and my phone, and there could be more spiders in there and I don't want them in my stuff."

"There could be spiders in here too."

She looks around the room for any signs of the pest. "Maybe I should just go back to my place."

"No, you're already here. You're staying."

"Go get my stuff, Castle."

"Promise you won't shoot me?"

"Maybe."

"You don't sleep with it under your pillow, do you? Because I don't fancy accidentally being shot in the middle of the night."

"It will stay on the night stand," she assures him.

"Fine," he stares at her for a moment longer before grudgingly going to retrieve all of her belongings.

A few minutes later he slides into the bed beside her, scooting close and putting an arm around her. "Good night, Kate."

"Night, Rick," she rests her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes.

**A/N: One more chapter I believe before Castle heads to LA. I didn't get around to replying to reviews again but hopefully the update will earn your forgiveness. More over the weekend hopefully. Thanks.**


	13. Case Reopened

**Chapter 13: Case Reopened**

_You gave me all_

"Hey, Kate. How was your day?" Castle smiles as he opens his door for her. He had decided not to go in to the precinct with her that morning as he was headed to LA the following day.

She just stands there, staring past him as if he isn't there in front of her. After a moment, she comes out of her trance. "Hi," she steps past him into the loft.

He closes the door behind her and turns to face her, "What's wrong, Kate?"

The detective closes her eyes, knowing that she had to tell him but not wanting to do it right before he left. She exhales, opens her eyes, and speaks. "Hal Lockwood or whoever he is was killed in prison this afternoon."

He grabs her hand, "I'm sorry, Kate. I know he was your last lead on her case. But apparently his boss considered him a threat, thought he'd give in and talk to you soon. Maybe whoever killed Lockwood will lead you to him. When I get back, I'll be by your side every step of the way until you've arrested every single one of them. I'll cancel my trip, and we can start tomorrow."

"No, you go. Ryan and Esposito will help me out on this. Montgomery's going to let us handle it for now. I'll call you if I need to talk or build theory."

"I'll always be there for you," he leans in to give her a gentle kiss.

Kate hesitates before taking his other hand in hers. "There's something else… that you should know."

"What is it?"

"Whoever killed him sent me a threat."

"What?" he squeezes her hands.

"It was a picture of me; they're still watching me. It said I'd end up like my mother if I kept pursuing this case."

"I'm not leaving you, Kate. I'll call Paula right now and tell her it's off."

"No, Castle," she tugs on his hands to keep him from going anywhere. "You're going to LA tomorrow."

"But they're trying to kill you."

"Nothing is going to happen to me. Montgomery's got people patrolling and watching me."

"Okay… if I'm still leaving, you and Alexis are coming with me in the morning. Ryan and Esposito can hunt these guys down."

"Absolutely not, Castle. Take Alexis if you want, but I'm not going. This is my case, Castle, my mother's case. I can't just walk away from it because the guys who had her killed want me dead too."

"Please, Kate," he whispers, looking into her eyes.

"No."

"Then I'm going to drug you and drag you with me. We'll stay out there until the whole thing is over."

"I'll have you arrested for kidnapping and assault," she counters.

"I just want you to be safe."

"I will be. There are units circling my block and your block for any signs of danger. Montgomery put a team on me at all times; they're patrolling the hallway tonight. And he's also got a team for Alexis if she's going to be staying; they're in the lobby of the building."

"Raglan was shot from a building across the street from the coffee shop. They could take you out the same way, and none of this protection will do a thing to stop them."

She leads him over to the couch, and they both take a seat. "Castle, you know more about me than anyone else. You know more about my mom's case than anyone else. Lanie is my best friend, and even she doesn't know everything that you do."

"Does that mean I'm your new best friend?" he gives her a small smile.

"You know that I have to do this, Rick. I have to bring her justice."

"So let me stay. Let me help you," he pleads.

"No. I can't let my job interfere with yours. Everyone has been telling me that I'm never going to catch these guys. I'm sure you're not going to miss anything in five days' time."

"Five days is plenty of time for them to kill you."

"Rick."

Castle brushes her hair behind her ear, keeping his hand resting on her cheek. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

"I'm not going to go and do anything that will make me an easy target, Rick. Besides, you're the one that comes up with the dumb ideas that almost get us killed."

"Hey, I rather enjoyed that last dumb idea. Well, not the whole almost dying part… but the rest was fantastic."

"Thank you for letting me do this."

"I wasn't there for you after it happened, and I don't know how bad it was for you. But if you feel yourself falling into that dark place again, call me. Any time. And I'll always answer. Plus Alexis will still be here; I know she's not me, but she's always been pretty good at cheering me up after a bad day."

"You're really going to leave your daughter here?" she looks up at him questioningly.

"Of course. Someone has to take care of you while I'm gone. And I'm sure you'll do everything you can to make sure nothing happens to her."

She nods in agreement, "The two officers will follow her from class to class until we catch these guys if that's what we want them to do."

"Montgomery must really like you to have eight officers pulled off their regular duties," he muses.

"Maybe."

"So does this mean you're not really going to be able to take care of Alexis? You're going to be working late everyday to search for these guys and forget about her?"

"I will leave the precinct by six every night, Castle. Unless something really big comes up."

"And you'll still be off Saturday?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I left you directions and my credit card on the kitchen counter. You can go over them in the morning before I leave and see if you have any questions."

"Directions?" she raises an eyebrow. "I think I can handle a teenage girl, Castle. Especially one as sweet as Alexis."

"I just don't want you to forget anything."

She rolls her eyes, "We'll be fine."

"And this," he reaches in his pocket and holds his hand out to her, "is for you."

Kate frowns as she reaches for his hand. She takes the key from him. "Castle…"

"If you're going to be staying here for five days, you have to be able to get inside. It doesn't have to mean any more than that right now."

"Thanks," she whispers, hands shaking as she pulls out her key ring and attempts to put his key on it.

He gently takes it from her and slides the key on, "Kate, you really need to get some rest."

They make their way to the bedroom and change into their pajamas before sliding into bed. She slides as close as possible to him when he joins her. "Rick?"

"Yes, Kate?"

"There's something I need to tell you… in case something does happen to me while you're gone."

"What is it?" he pulls back slightly to look at her face.

"I love you, Rick."

It pains him to hear these words. He'd been hoping to hear her say them for the past two years, but now that she had finally said them, it didn't feel right; she was just saying them because she thought that she could die without seeing him again. "Kate… I love you too," he whispers, needing her to know his feelings.

She leans in to give him the most passionate kiss she can without letting things go too far for her comfort.

**A/N: Sorry for not replying to reviews yet again. Finals are this week and I've been busy studying and with band. I have one in a little bit and then I get to spend my entire staring at anatomy some more and trying not to think about how awesome tonight's episode will be. I'll try to reply this time and update again Wednesday maybe. Thanks.**


	14. Girl Talk

**Chapter 14: Girl Talk**

_You gave all you had and now I am home_

"Kate, I wasn't expecting you home already," Alexis says when the detective walks into the loft.

"We hit a dead end and just decided to give up for the day."

"Dad filled me in this morning. I'm sorry, Kate."

"Does your dad tell you everything?"

The teenager isn't sure whether the older woman is mad at this or just asking, "Almost everything. Normally I pry it out of him because he's acting weird."

"So you're okay with staying here even though there are people trying to kill me?"

"Yes. Please don't tell him that I told you, but he made me promise that I'd look after you before he left this morning. I'm suppose to call him if you're acting weird and distant and depressed or anything really. He said he'd be on the next flight back the moment I called him."

"Your father's very sweet but sometimes it's just too much."

Alexis smiles, "I know. I wasn't going to call him unless something actually happened to you. I assumed you had a good reason for making him go on his trip."

"I didn't want him to get hurt; I have no doubt they'd kill him too if he was in their way. Not that I don't want you to be safe, but I told him it was completely up to him whether or not he made you go. I thought he'd most certainly take you, but I was wrong," the detective sits down at the island, watching the teenager prepare dinner. "I just hope nothing happens to you, or he's going to kill me."

She doesn't know what to say to this so she continues to cook.

"Can I do anything to help?"

"No, I've got it. It'll only be a few more minutes, then I have to put it in the oven."

"Okay."

"Did you want to do something after dinner?"

Kate looks up at the younger girl, "You don't have homework to do?"

"I finished it before you got home. Except studying for my anatomy quiz on Friday. Dad made you a list, didn't he? Does he really not trust me to do my homework?"

"He trusts you, Alexis. He's just… overreacting."

"Don't get mad at him… but he made me a list too. About all the things I need to do for you," she pulls a piece of paper out of her pocket.

She skims the list before rolling her eyes, "I think we may need to have a talk with him when he gets back."

"I know. I can't believe he thinks Ashley and I have no self control. I think he's the one lacking in that department."

"How long have you and Ashley been together?"

"Six months."

"Things are still going well, then?"

"Yeah," the red-head says, frowning for a moment. "Dad didn't ask you to pry for information, did he?"

"No. And if he had, I wouldn't do it. Nothing you say to me will reach his ears unless you tell him yourself. Unless you're drinking or smoking or on drugs… then I'd have to tell him so he could talk to you."

"And you'd arrest me."

"I'm a homicide detective. I really don't have to unless you murder someone."

"I don't plan on murdering anyone… but I guess you probably hear that excuse a lot."

She shrugs, "And none of those things sound like you so I'm sure your father won't be hearing anything from me."

"Thank you, Kate. This means a lot to me. I mean, I have Gram to talk to, but… she doesn't always really understand. She gives good advice most of the time, but she's just a little too… old, but please don't tell her I said that. And Dad's pretty good; he's done lots of crazy stuff, so I'm sure I can talk to him anytime about anything and he's probably done worse. But sometimes it's just awkward to talk to him about things. And Mom… well, she lives across the country, and I'm pretty sure Dad's right when he says she's crazy. I love her and all, but she's really not a very good mother," Alexis gives her a small smile. "I appreciate this, Kate."

"I know how hard it can be without a mother so if you ever need anything…"

"Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if I had a mother. Well, a mother in the sense of someone who's there to take care of you all the time. I think that sometimes I'm lucky because Dad's pretty cool about everything and I don't have to fight with anyone; my friends always talk about how they fight with their mothers over really stupid stuff. And other times I really think I'm missing out."

Kate reaches out for Alexis's hand, "I don't want to take over and replace your mother, Alexis. I don't even really know how to be a mother. But anything you need that I may be able to help with… advice or to answer questions or just for some girl time… I'll try to be there for you."

She nods, "Maybe Saturday… we could hang out? Dad left his credit card; we could go shopping or to the spa or whatever."

The detective smiles, "Sure."

"Ashley and I have a date on Friday. I don't really want to leave you all alone like that. I can cancel it; I'm sure he'll understand."

"No, you two go out and have fun. I'll come back here after work and relax or something. I'm used to being alone so it's not a big deal."

"You'll be okay by yourself? Even with the threat?"

"Of course. If I need anything, there will be officers around."

"That's another thing…" the teenager looks down at the counter top. "Are they going to follow us Friday night?"

"I'm not going to take them off of you and have something happen. However, I will talk to them tomorrow and see about giving you a little more space when you're around Ashley."

"Do they… report everything to you?"

"Not necessarily. They probably won't say anything to me unless there is some threat to you or I ask them. But I don't plan on asking anything about your private life with Ashley, and anything they happen to mention will not reach your father's ears." She pauses, not quite sure how to bring the subject up. "You and Ashley… are being safe, right?"

Alexis's eyes widen, "No, we're not doing that. No. And Dad's had that talk with me multiple times, especially since I started dating Ashley."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, it's fine. That conversation is just awkward enough with Dad."

"My dad would bring it up every time I got a new boyfriend in high school and college before my mother was killed. Thankfully he's kind of dropped it since then."

"You mean he's going to be this annoying for a while?" she looks up at the detective, almost horrified.

"Possibly, but I'll see what I can do."

"You had lots of boyfriends in high school?" the red-head asks.

"Mostly because I liked to aggravate my parents."

"Does Dad know?"

"Not exactly."

"Then I won't tell him any of your secrets either."

The conversation continues as they eat. Afterwards, Kate curls up on the couch with one of Castle's novels and Alexis with her anatomy. At ten, the teenager says good night.

"Your dad wrote on the sheet something about tucking you in every night," Kate begins.

"Yeah… that was a lie."

"Sometimes I never can tell with him. I figured if it was true, it was more for his sake than for yours."

"He hasn't done that since I was ten. Don't feel obligated to do anything. Good night, Kate."

"Night, Alexis."

**A/N: So that finale... amazing. But that ending was horrible. Well, in a good way. I was totally thinking it was time for that to happen to one of them, but I didn't think it would this season since I knew someone was supposed to be dying. I totally wish it was September already... even if that means back to school and I'm not even done with this quarter yet. I'm pretty sure I'm going to watching the episode like everyday until the fall. Anyway, thanks for reviewing. Two more exams to study for and then I think I'm going to be watching some Castle... Or writing. I really need to finish the last chapter of this story. More Friday.**


	15. A Breakup

**Chapter 15: A Breakup**

_My love, leave yourself behind_

Beckett looks up from her book when the door to the loft slams shut. A blur of red runs by, heading for the stairs. "Alexis?" she calls, but the girl doesn't respond. When she hears her bedroom door shut, she sets her book down, the cop in her deciding that she needed to make sure Alexis hadn't been hurt.

She knocks on what she assumes to be the teenager's door, "Alexis?"

"Go away," the red-head shouts through the door.

"Please let me in, Alexis. Let's talk about what happened."

"I don't want to talk."

The detective hesitates, "Did he hurt you?"

"… No. Not physically at least."

"If you don't open the door, I will kick it down."

"It's not locked."

She takes a deep breath before turning the door handle. Alexis has flopped down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling with tears streaming down her cheeks. "What happened?" she asks as gently as she can.

"I thought everything was going okay. Nothing seemed wrong. I really loved him, and I thought he felt the same way, but I was wrong. I was so stupid to think that he could be the one."

"He ended it?"

"Yeah."

Kate sits down on the edge of the bed, "He was your first boyfriend. You always think that things are going to be perfect, that you're going to be together forever. And that's very rarely true. Even the second and third time hardly ever lead to anything. You'll find someone who makes you really happy, Alexis. You've got years to look for him, and even longer to spend together."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"You're going to meet someone who makes you as happy as your dad makes me. You've still got to get through high school and college and find a job. After that, you can get serious about finding someone and settling down for a family."

The teenager sits up and leans against Kate. "I just don't understand what I did wrong," she says quietly.

"I don't know. Sometimes guys just don't know what they want. Maybe he just realized that."

"He said I wasn't putting enough into the relationship. But I put just as much in as him, maybe more." She hesitates, not really sure whether she should say anything about her fear, but decides that the detective had promised not to say anything to her father. "What if he broke up with me because of something I did? Or rather something I didn't?"

"Alexis, if he broke up with you because of that, then he doesn't deserve to be with you," she puts an arm around the girl. "If he really did love you, he wouldn't ask for that."

Alexis sniffles as she tries to stop the tears. "Did you… get broken up with a lot?"

"A few times. I'm normally the one who ends the relationship though."

"Dad… Dad would be devastated if you…"

"No, I don't plan on it. He'd have to do something absolutely terrible for me to do that to him and to myself."

She wipes at the tears tracks on her cheeks before turning to face the detective, "You broke up with the doctor, didn't you? You're not cheating on him with Dad, are you?"

"No, Josh and I aren't together anymore. He came home last Saturday evening, and we split up then. He knew things had changed between me and your father. I'd say it was a mutual break up, but those don't usually involve fighting. And I don't think Josh was too pleased with me."

"Things changed…" the teenager mumbles to herself. "How… Were you and Dad together before you and Josh broke up?"

Kate doesn't really want to lie to the girl since she knows that Castle has always been honest with her, "Technically, yes, I guess we kind of were. But nothing happened before I broke up with Josh. Nothing's happened at all. Except we kissed a couple times."

"Kate, you don't have to tell me what you and Dad are doing. You're both adults, and you're dating. You're meant to be together." The detective doesn't respond to this. "So… how do you deal with a break up?"

"Well, Lanie and I usually go out for drinks when one of us gets out of a relationship. But you're not old enough for that, and as a cop, I cannot condone you consuming alcohol even here at the loft with my supervision. However, I was just a little younger than you when my first boyfriend broke up with me. My mom and I stayed up ridiculously late watching movies and talking, and I think we ate a pint of ice cream."

"And you're still that skinny?"

"I guess I just have a fast metabolism. I've never really had to watch what I eat. And now that I'm cop, I have to stay in shape so I can keep up with the criminals."

"I could never do what you do. I mean, I really admire you for doing it, but I couldn't knowingly put myself in that much danger. Plus if I ever even thought of going to the police academy, Dad would take your handcuffs and lock me somewhere so I couldn't go."

"He would," she smiles lightly. "But only because he loves you."

"I think he'd do it to you too if he thought he could get away with it. He really cares about you. He was a wreck last week after that guy tried to shoot you," the teenager informs her.

"Yeah, we're still trying to deal with that, but I think he's starting to get over it. Or at least he was before he left."

"Well… I think we have ice cream in the freezer. We can go make sundaes and put in a movie if it's not too much… I mean, I don't want to cause you any pain or anything."

"No, we should. Unless you had another idea?"

"Dad took his laptop with him, otherwise I'd suggest helping you try to guess his password so that you could read the next Nikki Heat book."

"He probably wouldn't like that very much."

"I don't think he could be mad at you about anything. Besides, it's based on you; you should know what he's writing before everyone else does."

"He doesn't see it that way," Kate stands. "I guess he thinks I wouldn't let him publish it if I saw it before it actually went to print."

The two women change into their pajamas before meeting down in the living room. They dish themselves bowls of ice cream, Alexis's of mint chocolate chip and Kate's of cookies and cream, before getting settled on the couch. Alexis turns the TV on and goes through the pay per view movies. "You seen this one?" she asks, looking at the detective.

"Nope. What's it about?"

"I don't really know."

"Whatever you want to watch."

"Kate?" Alexis asks quietly while the movie loads. "Thanks for helping me deal with this. I'm sure Dad would be at a complete loss if he were here."

"It's no problem."

"Can we spend the day shopping tomorrow? Dad left his credit card, and I, uh, want to look at dresses. You can too; Dad's always got stuff to go to, and I'm sure you're going to be accompanying him to some of these things."

"Yeah, we can go shopping."

"What about…" the red-head points her spoon to the door. "I have a feeling they won't enjoy it too much."

"They can either wait outside the stores, or they can have the day off. Nothing has happened since Tuesday, and I doubt they would risk anything out in such a public place."

"We can do lunch too."

"Sure. But don't tell Lanie about this; she's been trying to get me to go out shopping with her for weeks. I won't go because I don't want to hear all about Esposito."

**A/N: So I've still got absolutely no writing done the past couple of days. I was contemplating writing something for the finale, but I really need to finish this story and I had another idea started. And I didn't get around to replying to reviews. I would have, but I wanted to update now, and I've got band in like ten minutes. So... hopefully you enjoyed the Kate and Alexis bonding time. Castle returns in the next one.**


	16. Give Me Space

**Chapter 16: Give Me Space**

_Beat inside me, leave you blind_

"Dad says if you don't let him pay now, he will pay you back later."

"I don't want his money. I don't need it," she protests.

"Do I have to call him?" the teenager threatens. They had spent the whole afternoon shopping, and the only thing Kate had allowed Alexis to buy her with her father's credit card was lunch. They were now at their last stop, dress shopping. After finding herself a couple of dresses, Alexis had insisted on Kate trying some on; the teenager then had insisted that the detective get them.

"He doesn't need to be bothered with this."

"He makes millions on each book, Kate. And part of the reason he's so attracted to you is because you could care less about his money. But please let him pay for this. After all, you're probably going to be wearing them for his publicity events, which you don't even want to go to."

"No. He pays for coffee every morning. We eat together at least three meals a week, and I've only paid for maybe two of them in two years of being partners. He paid for my dress to that fundraiser thing that we went undercover on one of our first cases. He blew a hundred grand trying to find my mother's killer last year. He doesn't need to spend more on me."

Alexis turns to the sales woman, "I'd like to pay for her two dresses as well."

Kate is glaring when the teenager turns back to her, and she finds she doesn't like it. "He put you up to this I presume?"

She shrugs, not wanting her dad to get in too much trouble. "Maybe…"

"I'm going to kill him. He's going to wish he stayed in LA."

Alexis decides that it is best not to mention to the detective that her father had come back early. "Kate, I know you don't mean that." She doesn't respond to this as the saleswoman hands them their dresses, which are now bagged and paid for.

They head back to the loft with their purchases. Kate opens the door to the loft and freezes. Things don't look right; there are lights on that she knows she turned off. She pushes Alexis back into the hallway and shuts the door quickly. "Go. Run downstairs and look for help. I'm going in," she pulls her gun out of its holster.

"No. Kate, it's just Dad. He came home early," the teenager protests.

"No, someone is in there. They probably hacked into his phone or something and sent you that so you wouldn't think anything of it. They're trying to lure us in. Now you go get backup, and I'll try to hold them off as long as possible."

"Kate, he called me and said he was coming home early. He wanted to surprise you so I never said anything. I swear it's him."

Before the detective can respond, the door to the loft opens. She lifts her gun in front of her, prepared to shoot.

Castle walks out, looking around curiously. He freezes when he sees her pointing her weapon at him. "Whoa, it's just me, Kate. Don't shoot."

She slowly lowers her weapon, "I should."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he frowns.

"Well, for one thing you wouldn't let me pay, and you got Alexis in on it too. And you don't do things like this; I'm a cop, Castle. I don't like surprises, and I could very well have shot you by accident. And especially when I've been threatened and am already on alert."

"I'm sorry." She just continues to glare at him, and he looks back and forth between her and his daughter, confused. "Kate, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," the detective says in a tone that indicates she is most definitely lying, brushing past him and into the loft.

Alexis tries to get by him, but he blocks her, "What's up with her?"

"I don't know, Dad. I think she's a little mad at you and kind of overwhelmed right now. Give her some time to cool off," she shrugs, walking by him.

He follows her into the kitchen, Kate nowhere to be found, and proceeds to cook dinner, listening to his daughter talk about the past few days. "So you and Ashley broke up?"

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?" he looks up, worried.

"Kate and I talked and stayed up late watching movies and having ice cream. I miss him, but it's okay. She's really great, Dad."

"I'm glad you think so too."

At that moment, then woman in question walks into the kitchen, her bag ready to go on her shoulder. She slides the key he had given her across the counter to him without a word.

Rick frowns, very confused and worried. "Kate… where are you going?"

"Home. You're back now; I don't have to stay here."

"I know you don't. But I like having you here. And Alexis does too."

The detective looks down at the ground for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts, before she looks back up at him, "I can't do this right now. I need some space."

"Space?"

"Yes."

He glances at his daughter, who gets the hint and leaves the room. "Is this it? You're just going to give up? We haven't even been out on a date yet. Kate, you can't break up with me."

"I'm not breaking up with you, Castle. I just need some time to think."

"No. Thinking is just going to make you realize that I'm not good for you, that I'm not safe. But I am, Kate. I've changed; I'm not a playboy anymore. I'm in this until the end."

"I know you are. But I still need time to myself. Everything is just happening so fast. We need to take a step back and think before moving forward with our relationship," she takes a step toward the door, trying to escape without making things worse for them.

He grabs her wrist so she can't walk out on him, "Stay here. We'll give you space so you can think. You can stay in my room; I'll take the couch. We're going to make things work."

"I can't think with you around, Rick."

"I know this transition is difficult for you, and I respect your wishes. But there is some psycho out there that wants you dead, and I really don't want him to be successful. Stay here where you're safe."

"I'm not safe here. All I'm doing is putting you and Alexis in danger. Let me go. When we solve this, when I'm not in danger anymore, we'll move forward in our relationship."

"I can't let you go," he tightens his grip on her wrist, not wanting to hurt her but not wanting to let her get away either.

"Castle," she warns.

"No. You're hurt and angry right now, and if I let you out of here, something is going to happen. You're going to be distracted and vulnerable and do something stupid. They're going to get to you, and I'm going to lose you forever. I can't let that happen to you, Kate."

She presses her lips to his, "This isn't goodbye forever, Castle."

He lets her go when she tugs on her arm, watching her walk out of the door. He desperately wants to chase her, but he knows that that will probably only make things worse for them. So he settles for waiting for her to be ready, which proves to be extremely difficult for him.

**A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner. It slipped my mind again. I had to unpack and repack all my school stuff. And I'm supposed to be finding a job. That's not really happening right now. Anyway... I really need to finish the last chapter of this one up. Maybe I'll go try to do that now. I just really have no idea how to end it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really need to start replying again...**


	17. Money

**Chapter 17: Money**

_My love, look what you can do_

Kate is curled up on her couch after work the next day when her phone vibrates. _Are you still mad at me?_ She smiles lightly at his words; of course he'd be willing to take all of the blame for this.

_I'm not mad at you. Never was,_ she types back.

His response is almost immediate, _If you say so, Beckett._

She shakes her head, not quite sure how to reply to this. She doesn't have to; he sends another message seconds after his first. _Can I come over? We should talk about things._

Her hesitation is only momentary. _Okay._

_Good. I'm almost there. And I have food,_ he writes.

Five minutes later there is a knock on her door. She gets up to answer it. He gives her a soft smile when she opens the door, and she returns it. "Hey, Rick."

He is simultaneously hit with the urge to kiss her until she is breathless and to yell at her in anger for shutting him out, even if it had only been for twenty-four hours. "How was your day?" he asks, deciding this is safer.

"Okay. Montgomery pulled us off my mother's case. Another case came in that he needed us on since we haven't found anything since the threat was left for me on Tuesday."

"Do you want me to come in tomorrow?"

"Doesn't matter to me. Just remember your promise to Alexis and Martha."

"Hungry?" he holds up the pizza box.

"Starving," she admits with a small smile. "I forgot that my kitchen was lacking food, and I didn't feel like going out to get something after I got home."

He hands her the box and heads to the kitchen to get plates and drinks for them. With these items in hand, he joins her on the couch. He lets his hand linger on hers as he passes her a beer. "So you're really not angry with me?"

"I'm… not angry. Just… a little frustrated and annoyed, which aren't too unusual when it comes to you. And a little overwhelmed."

"I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault."

"No, it is. And I know it is. I didn't want you to feel pressured at all; I know you like to be in control, and I was trying to take that away from you. I was making this go too fast when I should have been taking it at your pace."

She nods, "Okay, so it was you. But I wasn't exactly stopping you. And I want you to know that this has nothing to do with Alexis; I didn't mind looking after her at all, and it was a little… unexpected when you asked, but she's great, and I enjoyed spending time with her."

"She was worried that she had done something wrong, that we were fighting because of her."

"I'll give her a call and let her know that it doesn't have anything to do with her."

"Thanks," he takes her hand. "And I know you didn't really sign up for it, but thanks for taking care of her when Ashley broke up with her. I'm glad you were there, because I wouldn't have known what to do for her. I would've probably gone after him and killed him so… thanks for not having to arrest me."

"It wasn't a problem. I just wasn't expecting it; we all seemed to think that everything was fine with their relationship."

"I know. I guess he kind of turned out to be a jerk. Kind of like me."

Kate smiles, "You're not a jerk, Castle."

"I'm not far from it sometimes. But from now on I will let you control what happens in our relationship. That is, if you'll take me back."

"I never broke up with you. I never considered it for more than a second. I just needed space. And… I don't want to be in total control, Castle. We're supposed to be sharing equally in this relationship so I will try not to be so controlling. At work, yes, I need that control in my life. But I don't want that with you."

"You can be the dominant one. I don't mind," he grins.

She rolls her eyes, "I don't want that all the time."

"Okay. But if things are ever going too fast or you need anything at all, just let me know. I don't want this to happen again. I don't like fighting with you, and from here, it can only get worse. So please don't hold anything back, Kate. Anything at all, and I'll try to change it. Promise?"

"Yes."

"And you'll do the same for me? If I ask you to do something, you'll do it?"

"I'll try, Rick. I mean, as long as it's nothing drastic."

"I wouldn't ask you for anything I didn't think you were capable of doing."

"Thanks," she kisses him gently. "Now, can we eat?"

"Of course," he puts a couple pieces on a plate before handing it to her.

While they eat, she fills him on the events of the week, including all the information on her mother's case, or rather the lack of new information. Then he tells her about LA and how the movie is coming along.

"Kate?" he says softly when they are both too full to eat more.

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking that maybe now would be a good time to talk. About what we expect from each other. Publicity, money, marriage… anything."

"You're sure you want to do this now? We just made up, Castle. You really want to pick another fight?" she asks cautiously.

"You're going to fight me on everything, aren't you? Sometimes I wish you weren't so stubborn, Beckett."

"Fine. If you want to do this now, let's get it over with. Where would you like to start?"

"Well, since it came up yesterday, money. Kate, I get millions for each book. And I know you don't think very highly of me, but I didn't go and blow it all. At least, not since the third book. I've got tons saved up. So I don't want you to be spending anything of your own, not on anything that involves us. You're going to keep your money separate, and really the only thing I want you to do with that account is deposit your paycheck. I'll let you have complete access to my money."

"Castle, I don't want your money," she protests.

"I know you don't. But I want to take care of you. I don't want you to ever worry about money again. And I know that there's really nothing I can do to lessen your fears that I'm going to leave you. I really don't plan on it, but we do have to consider that it's possible that we're not going to last forever. If we split up, I want you to have half of everything I have. Everything but the half a million I've set aside for Alexis's college education. I'll put it in writing for you if you want. Anything at all."

"Money isn't going to make it any easier if we do split up, Castle."

"I know it won't. But it won't help me any either. I want you to be taken care of. I don't want you to not marry me or something for fear of losing everything you have if we should not work. I hate to keep talking about what we're going to do if things shouldn't work between us, but I don't want you to feel like I'm just going to forget about you if it ever comes to a break up. I'm always going to love you, Kate."

"Rick… if we're being completely open and honest right now, there's something I need to tell you. Something I've only ever told Lanie and my father." He reaches over to grab her hand, squeezing it to reassure that he's going to be there no matter what.

**A/N: Sorry for not updating. Kind of forgot. I might update again tomorrow. I have to spend Tuesday looking for a job since I haven't heard from any of the places I applied to over a month ago yet. So... thanks for reading. Happy Memorial Day.**


	18. Scars

**Chapter 18: Scars**

_I am mending, I'll be with you_

"My first year as a detective I was stabbed. We walked into a crime scene, and I went off looking for evidence around the apartment. We had been told by the uniforms that responded that it was clear, that no one was there other than the body. I should have been more careful. He came out of the closet and stabbed me twice. Montgomery came in and shot him before he could kill me." Kate looks up at him nervously. He knows she has more, that she has a reason for telling him this, and remains silent. She stands and moves in front of him. Slowly she pulls her shirt up slightly and the sweatpants she had thrown on after work down low enough to reveal the skin below her belly button.

Castle keeps his eyes on hers, waiting for her permission to look. She gives him a slight nod, and he lowers his eyes to her bare skin. "Kate," he whispers, his fingers reaching out to trace the two jagged scars from the stab wounds.

She bites her lip nervously before taking a deep breath and continuing. "The doctors don't think I'd be able to carry a baby. They said there was too much damage done, that it would cause too many complications and result in a miscarriage."

"Kate…" he repeats, not quite sure what to say to her. He pulls her onto his lap, hugging her close to his body. "This doesn't make me love you any less. I still want to be with you."

"You're sure? You don't want more kids?"

"If you're okay with this, with not having kids of our own, then Alexis is enough for me. If you want more, we'll have more. We can try, Kate. There's surrogates and surgeries and so much more, and I'd be willing to pay for it all if you want kids of your own. And there's always adoption. I'm willing to do whatever you want."

"Thank you, Rick," she kisses his cheek. Before she can pull away, he brings his lips to meet hers. "I… don't really know what I want right now."

"That's fine. Whenever you decide."

Kate hesitates before speaking again, "I thought my dad was going to start drinking again after this. He had been sober less than a year when this happened. But he made it through."

"How bad was it?"

"Nothing major was hit with the blade. Well, nothing life threatening. It was just a lot of blood. They tried to stop it at the scene, but the paramedics took a while to get there. I ended up having to get a transfusion. Sometimes I still think Montgomery feels guilty about it, and it wasn't his fault. He lets me get away with stuff no one else ever would. Vulcan Simmons… any other detective would have probably been suspended for that. He just kicked me off the case and made me pay for the new window for the interrogation room."

"I was wondering where that came from. I didn't think there was room in the budget."

"Nope. But he probably shouldn't have even let me on the case to begin with. I was too close."

"Would you have been happy with that?"

"No. We probably would have still worked behind their backs."

"And you still would have gotten in trouble."

She shrugs, "Probably."

"Was that the only time you've been hurt on the job?" he asks, pulling her shirt down to cover her stomach.

"I was shot once. But I had my vest on. It was just a flesh wound and lots of bruises."

"Did you get a cool scar?"

She rolls her eyes, pulling the neck of her shirt to the left and down a little to show him the scar a couple inches above her heart. "I probably have a few other marks, but they weren't from anything big."

"I could give you another one," he offers with a grin. Before she can reply, he kisses her; he wants to deepen it but he doesn't want to pressure her, so he pulls back quickly.

"Castle, you leave any marks, and I will kill you."

"You don't mean that," he whispers, kissing right below her ear.

Kate touches his cheek gently, "You have to stop, Castle."

He pulls his head back to meet her eyes but keeps his arms tightly around her, "I think we need to discuss work."

"Work?"

"Yes. How you want us to act at work. What you expect of me while we're there. I don't want anything I do to ruin your reputation and lose your colleagues' respect."

"Okay… Well, definitely none of this," she motions to his hands on her. "I like this, but they'll definitely know something is up if you do it while we're trying to solve a case. And you can't call me Kate."

"Yes, Ma'am," he says, knowing this would annoy her.

She rolls her eyes, "Just act like you always have, Castle, and they won't know until we tell them. Maybe when we do decide to let it out, I'll be a little more lenient with you, but for now I need this to stay between us."

"I'll do my best."

"And nothing about this to Ryan and Esposito."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"They're going to trick me into admitting it the moment they catch on."

"Then we won't let them catch on."

"What about Lanie? She's going to know; she's practically psychic when it comes to these things."

"I might tell Lanie… but I haven't decided whether or not I can trust her to keep her mouth shut."

"She will, Kate. She's your best friend."

She nods, "Other than you."

"Whoa, _I'm_ your best friend now?" Castle stares at her in shock.

"Don't look so surprised, Castle. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Well, I wanted to become close to you because I thought I couldn't have you romantically. But I never expected to overtake Lanie."

"Yeah, well since she and Esposito started dating, we haven't seen each other too much outside of work."

He gives her a soft, short kiss, "Thanks, Kate. I'm honored to be your best friend."

"Don't make me regret it."

"You won't."

She wraps her arms around his neck and draws her body closer to his, embracing him. She had missed him over the past few days while he had been gone. They sit there silently for many minutes, reveling in each other's company.

Finally he decides to break the silence, to bring up one of the topics he is really dreading talking to her about. "Kate, I really think we need to discuss publicity while we're talking like this."

"Okay. Let's get this over with," she pulls back to look at him.

"First, Paula knows about us. I told her while we were in LA. And I threatened to fire her and replace her if anything got out about us before I wanted it to," he waits patiently for her reaction to this.

"Okay."

"I thought it'd be best for her to know about it, and I'm one of her biggest clients. She doesn't want to lose me, and I'm sure she'll keep her mouth shut."

"I trust you, Rick. If you think it's best for her to know, then I'm fine with what you did."

He takes this in, glad that she isn't angry with him for not consulting her first. "So… what are you expecting from me, Kate? What can I do to make this easier for you?"

**A/N: I finally finished writing this story. Not overly happy with how it ended, but I was running out of lyrics and kept coming up with ideas for other stories, especially after the finale. Now to get to work writing those... Thanks for reading. More Thursday hopefully. Oh, and I'm not a medical professional (yet). I don't really know how her getting stabbed would affect her ability to have children; it's just my best guess and what I wanted it to be.**


	19. Changes

**Chapter 19: Changes**

_You took my hand, added a plan_

"Publicity is part of your job, Castle. I can't expect you to just forget about it because I don't like to have my private life out in the open for everyone to hear about."

He opens his mouth to protest, but she presses a finger to his lips to shut him up.

"Without it, you wouldn't sell your books. And I can't ask you to stop writing because of me. It's part of who you are; you're passionate about it, and I don't want to change that."

This time he is successful in interrupting, "But I would, Kate. I would quit writing for you if that's what you wanted."

She meets his eyes and finds that he is dead serious. "No. You can't do that. Asking you to do that would be like you asking me to stop being a detective because you don't like that I'm in danger all of the time. You don't like that, but you're trying to deal with it. So I'm going to deal with the publicity that comes with you being a writer."

"I'm serious, Kate."

"I know you are. And I'm honored that you would do that for me, but it's not what I want for you. Besides, what would you do with yourself if you stopped writing?"

"I could go to the academy and officially work for the department. I could actually be your partner," he reaches for her hand.

"No, it's too dangerous. And you already are my partner, Castle. You don't need to carry a badge or a gun in order to prove that you are. I couldn't ask for a better partner, and that's all that really matters."

"I'm very grateful that you consider me your partner, Kate, and that you've let me become such," Rick kisses her cheek.

"And I'm glad that you stuck around, that you didn't give up on me even when I made it difficult for you."

"The chase was part of the fun. But I'm glad we've both come to our senses and are giving this a shot." He gives her another light kiss. "Now, what do you expect me to do?"

"I don't like the women," the detective admits. "The fans I can understand. You need to do book signings and tours and stuff to make them happy and keep buying your books. I even get the parties; you have to make appearances at important events because you're famous and all. But I don't like the girls you bring with you. I know the real Rick Castle, and they don't belong. I want this playboy image to be gone. It helps sell books; I know that. But I don't like it."

He puts a hand on her cheek to make her look at him, "This is a good start, Kate. I can't make the playboy image disappear immediately. But I have an idea of how it can change."

"I'm not going to like it, am I?"

"Probably not."

"Just tell me it."

"We go public with our relationship. When they see that we're serious, they'll realize that that's not who I am."

"Public?"

"Yes. But not until you're ready to face the media."

"I get that we're going to have to tell people, Rick. I do. But I think you've had this image for too long; people aren't going to just view you differently overnight. They're going to say things about us, about how I'm just another one of your conquests. And it's not going to stop even if we do get married; you've already had two failed marriages. They'll just think I'm going to be ex-wife number three. It'd take years of marriage to change their minds, and by then nobody would really care. You'd be too old to go out with all the young girls and party."

"Are you calling me old, Beckett?" he teases, trying to lighten the conversation up a little.

"No."

"You did."

"Maybe," she shrugs noncommittally.

"Kate, I really try to ignore what the press is saying. And you're going to have to learn to do that too."

"I… want to, Castle. But that's not possible. Ryan and Esposito read things, and they just tease me; I know they don't mean it. But there are some people at the precinct who don't like our situation. They think I just let you follow me around for the fame; they think we're actually sleeping together, that we have been since the beginning. And they'd never let me live any of this down. I'd lose their respect, and I can't have that. And people I talk to on the job… witnesses and families of the victims and suspects… they wouldn't think very highly of me, and I'd never be able to do my job."

He looks away from her, not quite sure what to say to this, how to make things right. "Kate, I understand all of this. I really do. And I want to give you everything you want. But I really don't know how to do this."

"Okay. I don't expect everything from you, Castle. We'll have to meet with Paula; I'm sure she can do something to make this easier for us."

"You'd actually sit down with me and Paula to discuss this?"

"Of course. Not immediately, but in a few weeks when we're further into this relationship, sure."

"Kate?"

"Yes, Rick?"

"Part of going public means that you're going to have to come to these events with me. It's going to involve pictures and paparazzi and articles about us. And it may involve interviews."

"We can't keep it a secret forever."

"I know you hate me calling you this, but you're my muse. They're going to be all over this story when they find out we're dating."

"I would think they'd have better things to cover than your love life. Big events in the world to write about. People more famous to report about."

"A ruggedly handsome writer is going to be off the market soon. All the women want to hear about it. And some of them may even want to harm you for claiming me as your own."

Kate rolls her eyes at him, "In your dreams, Castle."

"I'm serious. Nothing really happened to Meredith because I wasn't really that famous yet, but Gina got some threats."

"I'm a cop; their threats don't mean anything to me."

"I'm serious, Kate. I'm pretty sure some of my fans are crazy. Don't take their threats lightly. Scott Dunn was a fan after all, and he tried to blow you up."

"Okay, Castle. I'll be on the lookout for crazy fans."

As he smiles, he slips his hand into hers, passing her a key. She looks in confusion at the object and is about to protest again, but he cuts her off. "Keep it. I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for, but I like having you near. And Alexis and Mother love having you around too. We want you to stay with us. It doesn't have to be official like moving in; you can keep this place for as long as you like. We just want you to spend time with us at the loft."

She stares at the key for a moment longer before turning to him, "Thank you, Castle."

"It's nothing, Kate. Really."

"I'd ask you to stay here tonight, but you shouldn't leave Alexis alone," she squeezes his hand.

"Then you should come back with me. Pack a bag so you can stay a few nights at least."

"You're very desperate to get me in bed, Castle," she flashes him a grin before getting up to pack.

"I am, but definitely not that way, Detective." He follows her to her bedroom before continuing, "Kate, the nightmares came back while I was away. They were worse than before. And last night… I could barely keep myself from rushing over here to check that you were really still alive."

She envelops him in a hug, "It's okay, Rick."

**A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner. I was still looking for a job... and still am. Hopefully someone will contact me soon. Thanks for reading.**


	20. A New Lead?

**Chapter 20: A New Lead?**

_You gave me your heart_

"Have you seen Ka - Beckett?" Castle just barely catches himself.

Ryan and Esposito stare at him for a moment before answering. "Montgomery wanted to talk to her a while ago. I assume she's still in there."

He nods at them, "Thanks. You guys solve the case yet?"

"Which one?" Esposito asks, still looking at him curiously.

"The one you got yesterday."

"Nope."

"Do you want me to take a look at it? Maybe I could find something you missed."

"We don't miss things."

"Then maybe I could spot something you overlooked or make some new connection you hadn't thought of."

"We don't need your help."

Castle looks from one to the other, "What's going on, guys? I'm your buddy. Remember? I know I haven't been here for a week, but I didn't think you would forget me."

Ryan glances at the captain's office before focusing on the writer, "You're really leaving her again?"

"What? Who?"

"Beckett," Esposito snaps.

"No, I'm not leaving."

"But you're not shadowing her anymore."

"I am. Just not as much as I was before. My family thinks I'm in too much danger, and she agrees with them. She knows about this, and she's okay with it," Castle tries to smile at them, but they don't lighten up at all.

"So she says. But we all know that she says things she doesn't really mean and can keep a straight face doing it," Ryan inputs.

"Just ask her about it. She'll tell you that part of it was her idea. I didn't want to do it at all, but they're making me."

Esposito edges closer, "Don't hurt her again, Castle. Or we'll hurt you and no one will ever find the body."

"I really don't know what you're talking about," he holds his hands up in defense.

Beckett frowns as she approaches the three, "What's going on?"

Castle glances at the two detectives as they back away, and the looks they are giving him tell him that he shouldn't say anything to her. "Nothing," he says, picking up the cup of coffee he had set on her desk. "I brought you coffee."

"Thanks," she accepts the cup but still looks at him suspiciously.

"So what did the captain want?"

"There's a guy at the prison who says he has information about Lockwood's murder," she says, aware that Ryan and Esposito are listening too.

"You're going to go talk to him?"

"Yes. Montgomery said he refuses to talk to anyone but me."

"Then let's get going," he picks up his own cup of coffee, getting ready to head out.

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"He might have information that can help you solve this case."

"He… might. But I don't want you to come, Castle."

He looks hurt, and she feels guilty. "Why? What did I do?"

"Who is it?" Esposito asks, the two other detectives coming back over to her desk to talk with them.

"Morrison," she replies.

They look at each other, "Maybe we should take this one, Beckett."

"No. He's not going to talk to anyone else."

"We'll make him a deal: you'll come see him if he gives us good information," Ryan offers.

"Who's Morrison?" Castle looks from the boys to Kate. She doesn't say anything.

"Guy we arrested over the summer while you were gone. He became a little obsessed with Beckett," Esposito says, not wanting to tell him too much because she clearly had not told him about this.

"Obsessed? Like Dunn? Kate, I'm so sorry."

"No, not like Dunn. He didn't become obsessed until after I interviewed him for information on the murders; he wasn't a suspect then. It had nothing to do with the books."

"Still… I should have been there."

"I'll go question Morrison and see if there's anything worthwhile for us to investigate. You two stay on this case, get it solved so we can go back to Lockwood and my mother if he actually has information. And Castle will help you."

"Absolutely not. If you're going to question him, Castle goes with you," Esposito orders his boss, and Ryan nods in agreement.

She glares at the two of them for a moment before giving in, "Fine. Let's go, Castle."

He tries to sit patiently in the car and not ask questions despite his curiosity, but this proves to be very difficult for him. He glances over at her every few seconds, but she is focused on the road. "Kate?" the writer begins cautiously.

"After I first talked to him about the victims, he started to send me things. Flowers, chocolate, notes… all sent to the precinct. He came to visit a few times, and I finally just had to flat out tell him that I was in no way interested in him. He got a little angry at this and grabbed me, but Ryan and Esposito had been keeping an eye on him, and they threw him out of the building," she explains, not looking over at him once.

"That's it? Because the guys made it sound a lot worse than that," he wonders aloud.

"No. The next day we arrested a man we thought was behind the two murders. Morrison had framed him though. We didn't know until a couple days after this when he broke into my apartment."

"Pochenko," Castle whispers.

She finally looks over at him as they stop at a red light, "Except I wasn't trying to fight him off naked."

"I'm so sorry, Kate. When I wrote that… I never really thought it possible. I…"

"It's not your fault. It's just a hazard of the job. You meet crazy people, and sometimes they come after you."

"How'd you get away? Did you iron his face? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"We struggled over my gun, and I shot him in the leg."

"I should've been there for you. I don't know why I was so stupid."

She remains silent during the rest of the twenty minutes it takes to get to the prison. Once inside, she shows one of the guards in charge her badge and identifies herself, requesting to speak to Morrison. They are led to an interview room, and she stops outside of it, turning to him. "You can stay out here if you feel uncomfortable about this."

"No way. This is your mother's case, and they're after you. And the guy with information has an obsession with you. I'm going in there, Kate," he stands his ground against her.

"Castle, I would really like you to sit this one out. He's going to say things, and you're not going to like them. I don't want you to have to listen to that. Please, Rick."

"I'll be good. I'm not going to try to kill him for anything he says, but if he tries anything, he's going to get it."

"He's going to be handcuffed; he can't do much."

"But still…" he trails off, meeting her eyes. "You need me in there."

"I can defend myself."

"I know you can. You need for me moral support so I'm going to be there. I told you I would do anything you wanted me to when it comes to your mother's case. And you told me you wanted me by your side. So that's exactly where I'm going to be."

Kate gives him a small smile, "I appreciate your dedication and trying to keep your promise, Castle, but I would rather you not go in there. I know you're out here if I need any moral support, as you put it."

"I'm not leaving your side," he says stubbornly.

"Fine. But you keep quiet and you don't try to play hero."

**A/N: Ten more chapters to go. More Friday hopefully. Going to go write some more now.**


	21. More Threats

**Chapter 21: More Threats**

_I asked you to dance with me_

"Detective Beckett, how nice of you to come visit," Tyler Morrison smiles at her as she walks in. "And you brought an audience."

"What do you know about Hal Lockwood's death?" Beckett asks, completely ignoring his comments as she takes a seat across from him, Castle sitting down beside her, perhaps a little closer than usual during an interrogation but not being too overwhelmingly protective.

"New partner?" he glances at Castle.

"Yes."

"He doesn't love you, not the way I do," Morrison taunts.

"And I'm very glad he doesn't."

The criminal studies her, "Is that your natural hair? It's so much prettier than last summer."

"What do you want?" she stares at him coldly. "You have information that I need. What do you want in exchange for it?"

He smiles and holds out his cuffed hands, "For starters."

"Absolutely not," Castle breaks his silence.

She glances over at him briefly before turning back to Morrison, motioning for the guard to unlock the cuffs. As soon as he is free, he reaches for her across the table. She backs away from his hand, and Castle tenses beside her.

"That isn't going to work, Kate," he smiles. "If you want information, you have to give something up."

"You tell me what you know, and I'll consider it."

"No, it can't work that way. You see, if I tell you what I know, you'll leave. You won't hold up your end of the deal."

"And what is it you want from me?" Kate asks, leaning forward on the table again.

The writer observes the man across the table from him, thinking that with his blond hair and green eyes, he had probably been decent looking, perhaps even handsome, when he had first met Beckett. Six months in prison had made a mark on this though. He had to be only a few years older than her, and he had probably been relatively charming, the reason he had been able to kill the other two women. Rick finds himself wondering why she hadn't given him a chance, especially when they thought they had caught the guy responsible, but is immensely grateful that she hadn't.

Morrison pats the table in front of him, indicating that he wants her to come closer. She stands, and Castle must refrain from reaching out to grab her to keep her from moving. She sits down on the table, not quite directly in front of him, and crosses her legs, waiting for him to continue. The criminal places a hand on her knee and smiles as Castle winces, "Kate, I think your boyfriend is jealous."

Beckett continues to watch him, not reacting to his words or his touch as she waits for him to get to the point.

"Maybe you should send him outside."

"I'm not going anywhere," Castle declares, standing and preparing to tackle the criminal for touching her.

"Oh, he wants to watch," Morrison smiles, looking from one to the other. "We should give him a show then, shouldn't we?"

"Tell me what you know about Hal Lockwood's murder," she demands, ignoring his hand as it slowly slides up her leg.

"I can take better care of you than him. You just have to get me out of here, Kate. You do that, and I'll tell you everything I know and more." His other hand comes to rest on her shoulder.

"That doesn't even make sense," the writer protests, coming around the table. "You can't tell her more than you know, and if you don't start talking and get your hands off of her, you're going to pay."

"Castle," she warns.

"What are you going to do?" Morrison taunts him.

"I'll kill you," Rick threatens. "Leave her alone."

"No." Before any of them can react, Morrison has stood up and pressed him mouth against hers, his hands roaming her body.

Castle lunges, knocking the man to the floor. He gets one punch to the face in, and as he goes for the second, something grabs him to keep him from doing so. He looks back and sees Beckett grabbing his wrist.

"Rick, don't," she says simply.

The guard is already cuffing Morrison's hands again when he turns back to the criminal. Slowly he stands and lets the guard take care of him. He turns back to Kate, who is studying the ground intently. He wants so badly to reach out and reassure her that everything is going to be okay, but he knows she won't allow it.

"I've got an envelope for you. It's in my cell," Morrison tells them. They follow him back to his cell to get the envelope. Just to taunt Castle again, he says, "That was better than I imagined it. But it would have been better if you had kissed back. And if it hadn't been cut so short."

She takes the envelope from the guard and walks out without a word, Castle following close behind her.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly once they are seated in her car.

"I'm not mad at you," she turns to him.

"You said that last time too, and it led to us fighting."

"And it's still true."

"I shouldn't have interfered; I should have trusted your plan. But I just couldn't bear to see him touching you. And then he had the nerve to kiss you. I… I would have killed him if you hadn't stopped me."

"I know, Castle. I appreciate you trying to stop him."

"You do? I thought you'd be furious; I thought you'd be saying I told you so because you didn't want me to go in there for exactly that reason."

Kate reaches for his hand, "I felt a little more comfortable with you in there, Rick. Thanks for trying to stop him. But right now all I want to do is go take a long, hot shower and brush my teeth about ten times to get him off of me."

"I understand."

"But we should probably see if there's anything worthwhile in here," she pulls a pair of gloves on before opening the envelope.

Castle looks over her shoulder at the series of pictures that are in the envelope. All had her in them, some with his daughter, some with him, and some with the other detectives. "They're still after you, Kate. Montgomery's got to put officers on you again. You've got to be careful."

She looks into the envelope and finds a piece of paper stuck inside. She shows it to him: _This is your final warning, Detective. Give up, or we will start shooting._

"Kate…" he whispers, not sure how to voice what he is thinking, about how dangerous this is going to be.

"I know, Rick. But I have to do it. I have to catch these guys."

He takes her hand in his and squeezes it, "I know you do, Kate. And I'm going to help you do it. I just want you to be careful, to not get so wrapped up in this that you make a stupid mistake and get killed for it."

"This is too dangerous. I can't put you in that position, not after our deal with Martha and Alexis. You're going to have to stay out of this."

"No. There is absolutely no way I'm going to do that. You need me."

"So do Martha and Alexis," she counters.

"You've got my back, don't you?" he asks, squeezing her hand again.

"Of course."

"And I've got yours. We're going to make it through this alive. We're going to put the bad guys behind bars and close your mother's case for good."

**A/N: More Monday. Thanks for reading.**


	22. Knights and Princesses

**Chapter 22: Knights and Princesses**

_You loved honestly_

Castle watches her steady breathing as she sleeps, curled up on the end of his couch with crime scene photos and police reports spread out around her. He doesn't want to wake her, but he knows that she is going to be very uncomfortable and sore in the morning if he doesn't move her to bed. While she sleeps, he debates whether waking her or attempting to carry her to his room is best. He knows she can't be all that heavy, but he doesn't want to drop her or be injured by her should she wake up and find him touching her; on the other hand, she would have to fall back asleep if he wakes her, and given the circumstances, he isn't sure that she'll do that, even if it's what's best for her.

Luckily he doesn't have to make a choice; her eyes blink open while he is still thinking. "Castle, how many times do I have to tell you that staring is creepy?" she says sleepily, closing her eyes again and shifting slightly to get more comfortable.

"You need sleep, Kate. In a bed."

"What time is it?"

"Eleven-thirty almost."

She quickly sits up, "Shoot. I was only supposed to nap for fifteen minutes."

He sits down beside her and starts to gather up the crime scene photos and reports surrounding her, "You need sleep. You're going to burn out if you don't take the time to rest. Tomorrow you can come back and look at it all with fresh eyes."

"Castle," she begins to protest but stops, realizing that he would refute any argument she tried to make.

"Bed."

She wraps her arms around his middle and leans her head on his shoulder, "I'm perfectly content right here."

"You won't be when you're sore in the morning."

"I don't know. I think you might be a better pillow than partner," she teases.

"Just for that you can stay out here with no blankets all night long," he tries to stand, but she tightens her grip on him so that he can't.

"You'd miss me too much."

"Yes. Yes, I would," he admits, putting an arm around her.

"Castle?" she yawns.

"Yes?"

"I don't feel like moving. Carry me to bed?"

He hesitates, "I… Kate, I don't want to drop you."

"Castle, if you're going to be my knight in shining armor and fight off all the bad guys, you're going to have to build up muscle somehow."

"Knight in shining armor? Really, Kate?"

"Hm… yeah, I guess that doesn't work. Your pen in much too short to slay bad guys and dragons with."

"The pen is mightier than the sword, Kate. I could do plenty of damage to the bad guys," he assures her with a squeeze. "Besides, if I'm the knight in shining armor, you're the princess."

"Let's just forget this metaphor," she tries to pull back, but it is his turn to keep her from going anywhere.

"I think not. Because when the knight saves the princess, she thanks him with a kiss. I saved you today, and I want my kiss," Rick declares, a mischievous glint in his eyes assuring her that he is just teasing.

"There's nothing stopping you from getting it," she says quietly, meeting his gaze.

He leans forward to capture her lips, and it quickly becomes passionate. Knowing they had to stop before things went too far, he pulls away after just a few minutes, hugging her close to his body. "Kate, I love you," he whispers into her hair.

"I love you too, Castle," she returns.

He pulls back slightly to look at her face, "Why do you always call me Castle?"

She shrugs, "I call you Rick sometimes."

"Why not all the time?"

"I don't know. I'm just used to calling you Castle, and in my mind, you're always going to be Castle."

"You need a nickname," he decides, looking away in thought.

"What?"

"Well, you always call me Castle. No one else does. It's always Richard or Rick or Mr. Castle. So it's kind of like a nickname, especially since it's not really my name."

"I thought you legally changed your name?"

"I did. But Castle wasn't part of my birth name so it's still like a nickname. So you need one too."

"No," she says, trying to pull back again.

"Don't get me wrong; I like calling you Kate, but it's not special, not just for me to use."

Kate shakes her head, "No."

"Okay, no nicknames," he studies her, wondering why she is so against this, but chooses not to pursue the topic.

Feeling like she owes him an explanation, she takes a moment to compose her thoughts before speaking. "My mother had lots of names for me before she died. I would rather not be reminded of her like that. Dad calling me Katie is hard enough sometimes."

"I understand, Kate. Kate is fine, right?" he checks.

"Yeah. She only called me Kate once or twice. Her and Dad almost never called me Kate. Everybody else did except when I was a kid, and… it's not quite as painful."

"I'm sorry I brought it up."

"No, you didn't know. I never really told anyone; Dad just kind of dropped it after she died except for Katie," she looks up at him. "I'll try to start calling you Rick when it's just the two of us."

He shakes his head, "No, Castle is perfectly fine. Not that there's anything wrong with Rick, but it's just weird coming from you because I've always been Castle to you. You can call me anything you want, Kate, and I would be fine with it."

"Anything?"

He swallows, wondering what she was thinking about, "Well, maybe not anything. I hated when Meredith called me kitten, but from you I might not be so opposed."

"I think I'll just stick with Castle."

Rick stands, "You ready for bed now?"

"Only if you're going to be my knight and carry me," she smiles lightly.

"I will try not to drop you," he says as he tucks one arm under her knees and the other behind her back. She wraps her arms around his neck as he lifts.

"Alexis said something to me last week," she begins while he walks.

"About what?"

"She mentioned me giving you self-defense lessons so you could maybe not be so helpless in certain situations that you seem to find yourself in frequently while shadowing me."

"Okay. If it's not too much trouble for you… Because I can hire a teacher for myself."

"No, I can do it. You just have to be flexible with my schedule."

"I can do that. On one condition."

"What?" she asks as he sets her down on his bed.

"I want you to teach me how to shoot properly too. In case I should have a gun and need to use it. I know you tried to teach me once, and I'm not asking for you to give me a gun. I just think that I should know how to do so."

"Sure. I can't give you a gun; Montgomery gave me a talk after the last time I did that. And I don't want you buying a gun to carry with you when you shadow me. But I will teach you."

"I promise not to go buying guns without your permission."

"We can start tomorrow morning if you want," she offers.

He nods, "Sounds good."

"Be up by six, and we'll go to the precinct to work on it."

"Six?" he whines, looking appalled.

"Yes. We have a case to solve, Castle. I can be more lenient later when there aren't cases."

"Fine," he reluctantly agrees as he climbs in beside her.

She immediately curls up at his side, "Night, Castle."

"Until tomorrow, Kate."

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. More Wednesday or Thursday.**


	23. Self Defense

**Chapter 23: Self-Defense**

_Did what you could release_

Castle's eyes travel up and down her body as he steps out onto the mat she is standing on. "If you dressed like that all the time, the criminals wouldn't put up much of a fight."

She rolls her eyes at him, "Focus, Castle."

"It's kind of hard with you dressed like that," he gestures to her tank top and tight-fitting sweat pants.

"I thought you were over this whole thing."

"That'll never happen, especially with you."

Kate bites her lip and closes her eyes, thinking. "Castle, I really need you to focus right now and not on me."

"Okay, I'll try," he says, stepping out onto the mat to join her. "Do we need anything? Don't you usually wrap your hands?" he asks, looking down at his own.

"Just you is fine."

"Are you sure? I really don't want anything to happen to my hands. I need them to write. You know, maybe I should get them insured."

At his musings, she sighs, "We can wrap your hands if you want to, Castle. But right now you're not proving yourself to be a very worthy opponent so I'll leave my hands as they are."

"Hey, that's unfair. I could be a very worthy opponent. Maybe I've been holding out on you with my kung fu skills." She looks skeptical of this. "Yeah, I guess not."

"Are you ready to start now?"

"You're not going to beat me up too bad, are you?"

She ignores him, "The first thing you need to learn is how to throw a punch." Holding her hand up for him, she indicates for him to do as she said.

He stares at her blankly.

"Castle, I know you know how to throw a punch; you did it to Lockwood. Just humor me for a moment."

He continues to stare at her hand, "Kate… you're a girl. I can't hit you."

This time she puts her face in her hands in frustration, "Castle, why are you being such a pain?"

"I'm not being a pain. I'm stating a fact."

"Would you rather I get Ryan or Esposito to teach you? Because they're not going to go easy on you, especially after your little conversation yesterday."

"That's okay. Don't tell them this, but I like you more."

"I think they already know that."

"Wait… you're going to go easy on me?" he asks, frowning.

"For now."

"Thank god. I thought I was going to be close to death after this."

"Castle, just punch my hand already, or I will go get Ryan and Esposito and let them beat your ass up."

Determined not to let her give up on him, he throws his punch. She barely flinches. "So?" he says nervously, afraid she is going to think he is hopeless.

"I know you can punch harder than that, Castle. You were beating Lockwood up, and you would have done the same to Morrison yesterday. But I'm giving up on that for now. Let's learn how to block attacks." She has him throw a few more punches at her as she demonstrates different techniques for blocking them for him. "Ready?"

"I guess. But I bruise easily so don't hit me too hard."

"If you block correctly, you won't get hit," she counters.

"It's only my first time," he whines.

With another eye roll, she starts throwing punches.

He completely misses blocking the first one. "Ow." But she doesn't let up, and eventually he gets the hang of it, only missing a few of her attacks as he improves.

"You gonna play defense the whole time?" she asks, glancing up at his face as she lands another punch square in his stomach.

"You're not leaving much room for me to attack back."

Kate roundhouse kicks him in the side, but as she retracts her leg, he grabs it. Having not been expecting him to actually fight back, she losses her balance. He lets go of her leg, and she falls backward from the momentum.

He slowly approaches her side, looking kind of scared. "I'm sorry, Kate." He extends a hand to help her up.

She takes it, gives him a smile, and sweeps his legs out from under him. Then she climbs onto him, pinning him down with a knee on his chest, her hand still gripping his. "That's for trying to help me up." He smiles up at her. "What's your problem?" she frowns at him.

"Nothing," he says, still smiling. With her distracted, he takes the opportunity to flip them over so he is on top, her pinned beneath him. "Self defense I can't do. But rolling around on the ground fighting to be on top is something I have a lot of practice in."

She just glares at him. "Castle…"

He stops any further protests by covering her mouth with his own. Somewhat surprised when she doesn't push him away, he tries to deepen the kiss.

She flips them over again and pulls back. "Really, Castle? You're trying to make out with me on the sweaty sparring mats in the precinct?"

"Maybe. If learning self-defense always includes this, I'm definitely going to want a lot more lessons from you." With a roll of her eyes, she stands. He holds a hand out to her, expecting her to help him up. She just stares at him. "Fine, don't be nice to me."

"Let's try it again, but this time you have to fight back."

"Hey, I won last time. You went down first."

"But you made a mistake and I pinned you. So no, I won."

"You just don't want to admit you lost to me," he grins. He just narrowly escapes the punch she throws at his head. "Hey…"

"The criminals aren't going to wait until you're ready, Castle," she easily blocks the punch he throws at her stomach and throws another headshot.

"Stop aiming for my head. I need to be able to think in order to write."

"Shut up, or I'm going to make sure you won't be talking anytime soon."

"Does it involve more kissing? Because I could definitely go for that."

Kate freezes, "Castle, if that's all you really want from me, you're going to have to find a new girlfriend."

"No. Kate, this isn't just about the physical part. I love you, and I've never felt this way about anyone else. I was just thinking… that we wasted enough time and we shouldn't waste anymore. And kissing you is amazing."

She eyes him for a moment, "Is this your way of trying to get me in bed?"

"No. I told you I'm willing to wait for you to be ready, Kate. However, I would like move our relationship forward so… would you like to go on a date with me tonight, Kate?" She doesn't answer right away, and he starts to wiggle around nervously. "Kate?"

"Castle, I'm not ready to make this public right now."

"I know. That's why I'm not going to take you to any of the fancy well-known restaurants in the city. I know the perfect little place for us. It's not quite as fancy but the food is still delicious, and it'll be perfect for our date. No one really knows about this place so we won't be interrupted."

"I want you to do this right. You pick me up and we go out and we don't spend the night together afterwards."

"I can do that. I mean… I'll miss you tonight if you do go home but I understand that you need space."

She nods, "Then okay."

"I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Sure. We should probably get upstairs; I think we've done enough training for one day."

**A/N: Thanks for reading. More Friday.**


	24. Captured

**Chapter 24: Captured**

_I know you're pleased to go_

There is a knock on her door. She checks the clock and frowns; she knows he likes to be on time, but fifteen minutes early left her not quite ready for their date. As she heads to the door, the knock comes again, this time more persistent. "Coming," she calls out. Not bothering to check the peephole, she unlocks the door and opens it. "Just give me a few more minutes, Castle. I'm not quite…"

Before she can even react, a gun is pressed into her side and a syringe is plunged into her neck, the contents injected into her body. The four men rush into her apartment, closing the door behind them and locking it. Three of the men hold her down as the valium kicks in, making sure she can't fight back and can't scream for help. The fourth takes off to search her apartment.

She struggles against the men until she becomes too drowsy and weak to do so. They place duct tape over her mouth before binding her wrists and ankles together. "Hey, come look at this," the one who had wandered off calls to them. Two of the others head in the direction of her office, and she vaguely remembers that her mom's murder board is in there. The man left with her carries her over to the couch and sits her on it before following the others.

With no one around to see her, Beckett tries to struggle against the bindings in order to free herself. All she succeeds in doing is falling off the couch to the floor, hitting the side of her head against the hard wood, which only makes it harder for her to stay conscious.

The men laugh when they see her on the floor. "Thought you could escape? Think again, Detective. We're going to make sure you and your little pal can't do anything to stop us."

She tries to say something to them but it just comes out as muffled noise.

"Don't worry, Detective. You'll be able to see your dear mommy again soon," he smiles at her. "But first we're going to have some fun. Everyone get in place. He should be here any minute."

The man who appeared to be in charge puts her back in the middle of the couch before standing behind her, gun to her temple. "You make one move or one sound to warn your friend, and we won't hesitate to put a bullet in his head."

They wait silently, Kate trying to come up with any way to keep them from getting Castle but her mind is too foggy to think clearly about what she could do. Her eyes start to drift shut but a knock on the door causes her to jolt awake.

No one moves as they wait to see what the writer will do. Another knock comes. "Beckett? You in there? It's just me. Castle. Please answer." Still silence. "Please, Kate. I know you're in there. You have to be. If you don't want to go out with me anymore, just tell me. I'll get over it. Just let me know you're okay."

She turns to look at her capture, trying to plead with him to let her say something to the writer to get him to go away. The man shakes his head at her, "We want you both."

"Kate? I'm coming in. Don't be mad at me. I'll pay for a new door. I just want to know that you're alive." There is a moment's pause before her door is kicked in.

She tries to shout at him and warn him but he can't understand with her mouth taped. Her noise earns her a blow to the side of her head with the butt of the man's handgun.

"Leave her alone," Castle demands, stepping forward toward her.

"You better think about what you're doing, Mr. Castle," the man says calmly, placing the muzzle of the gun to her head. "You move again, and I pull the trigger. You show any resistance, and I will kill her. Do you want to see your girlfriend die?"

Rick looks at her, trying to meet his eyes, but she is not looking at him. He finally raises his hands in defeat, knowing that he could never live with himself if she was killed because of him. But he does not completely resign from the fight as they bind his limbs together. "Let her go. Take me and do whatever you want to me. Just don't hurt her."

"Someone shut him up," the man demands, and one of the other three men puts a piece of tape over his mouth. A syringe is pulled out, and he watches as it gets closer to his neck until he can no longer see it. He feels the prick as it pierces his skin, and the liquid is injected into his body.

As they tape up the rest of his body, he watches her, trying to read her to see if she was angry at him. He knows that she is going to tell him that he should have just left, that he shouldn't have tried to play hero. She's going to blame herself if anything happens to him, and he doesn't want that. He was the one stupid enough to fall into the trap, but he finds that he is not angry at this. He's actually glad that she isn't alone in this, that if she is going down, he's going to be right there with her.

Kate finally looks up at him, trying to tell him with her eyes that she is sorry. He meets her eyes, telling her that he doesn't blame her for this, that he's sorry he walked right into the trap, and that everything is going to work out for them.

The man next to her roughly pulls her up by the arm and practically drags her over to the others. He shoves her against the wall next to Castle. "If either of you try anything funny, the other is going to end up in an awful lot of pain. And you really wouldn't want that, would you?" he looks from one to the other.

They risk a glance at each other before nodding to show they understood.

"You two take him," he nods to the two closest to the writer, "and you handle her. I'll take care of anyone we see on the way out."

The duct tape binding their feet is cut so that they can walk out of the building. They all head out and to the back stairway, the leader going first, Beckett and her captor going next, and Castle with the last two men brining up the rear.

Castle watches Beckett stumbled down the stairs, and he's pretty sure she had been drugged too and had probably been given a little too much. She begins to fall, and he makes a muffled noise through the tape on his mouth. The man guiding her fails to grab her, and she tumbles down the stairs. A sickening crack and thud sound when she reaches the landing.

"Kate," he tries to call out to her when she doesn't move, struggling to get free from his captors.

"Shut it," the leader says, pointing his gun at her.

Castle immediately stops moving and yelling. She hasn't moved at all, and he sincerely hopes that the drugs knocked her unconscious and not the fall. He finds himself praying that she isn't too badly hurt and that, if she is, she can't feel it between being unconscious and heavily drugged.

The guy who was supposed to be helping her picks her up, and Castle finds himself wanting to punch the guy for not seeming to care that she could be dying. After making sure the coast is clear, they are led out of the back of the building and into a black van waiting by the door. Castle wants to reach out and comfort her in any way he can when he finds her lying next to him in the back of the van but his restraints are too tight.

**A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner. I was very busy this weekend. I'll try to post again Wednesday.**


	25. Tell Us What You Know

**Chapter 25: Tell Us What You Know**

_I won't relieve this love_

"Kate," Castle says softly. He had woken up moments before to find himself bound to a chair, his mouth now free and his head still a little foggy from the drugs, with Beckett in much the same situation in a chair across from him. "Beckett?"

She blinks rapidly as she tries to adjust to the light and her surroundings. Pain shoots through her body when she tries to take a deep breath, and she can't help the wince and small cry that she lets out.

"Kate, are you okay? How bad is it? What can I do?"

"I… It's okay, Castle."

He studies the pained expression that has taken over her face. "Where, Kate? What's hurt?"

"Ribs," she bites her lip to keep from crying out. "I can't tell if they're just cracked or broken."

"Where?"

"Middle. Right side."

"Are you having trouble breathing at all?"

"No, it just hurts."

"Okay. You just hang in there, and I'll find a way out for us," he looks around the warehouse for the first time and notices that there is only one door. He pulls as his binding, trying to loosen it so he could get free and go to her. The tape doesn't budge at all. "It might take longer than I thought. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah… I'll get over it."

"Anything else at all, Kate? You took a bad fall."

"I think I've got a bump on my head; I think I hit the same spot on the stairs as I did when I fell off the couch. But I don't really think anything's wrong there. It's all just a little fuzzy; it might be the drugs though."

"I'm a little fuzzy too; it's probably the drugs. And I'm sure they gave you way too much for your size. That's not helping anything."

"Rick?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really sorry I got you into this. They shouldn't have come after you; they should have just taken me and left you alone. If anything happens to you… I can't forgive myself."

"Everything is going to be fine, Kate. They're going to realize we're missing, and they're going to come looking for us. You have a decent building; I'm sure there were cameras and people who saw them. There will be a trail somewhere."

"I don't know, Rick. They won't know we're missing until morning when we don't show up for work. And by then it might be too late," she says quietly, trying her hardest to keep her breathing even and shallow so as not to stress her ribs.

"Alexis knows we were going out. I told her I'd be home tonight; I promised that I'd text her if I was going to be staying at your place for some reason. She's probably tried to reach us by now, and she's probably alerted the department that we're missing. They're looking, Kate."

"Maybe she thinks we got caught up in the moment, that we forgot to let her know. Or maybe she fell asleep waiting for you to get home."

"She didn't," he assures her. "She's always up until I get back unless I tell her I won't be there."

She nods, hoping he is right.

"Kate?" he asks timidly.

"Yeah?"

"How'd they get in? Your door wasn't kicked in or anything. No signs of a struggle from the outside."

"I… It was stupid of me, Castle. I just assumed it was you, and I didn't even check. They had guns and drugs, and they just overpowered me because I wasn't expecting it."

"Hey, it's not your fault, Kate. You made a mistake; I'm sure they've made plenty of them, and the boys are going to find them and rescue us."

She looks over at him, taking in his appearance. "Are you okay, Castle?"

"Yeah. I'm not hurt or anything. Don't worry about me."

"You're not lying to me to make me feel better, are you?"

"Of course not. I swear they haven't done anything to me but tie me up."

"It better stay that way."

Castle watches her as she refuses to meet his eyes, wishing she would stop blaming herself for this. He isn't going to blame her for anything that happens, and no one else would either. "Kate, I just want you to know that you look beautiful. I was really looking forward to our date tonight, and when we get out of here, I want to try this first date thing with you again, hopefully with better results."

"Well… you've been with a lot of women, Castle, but I think this is one first date that you've never had before."

"No, I can't say I've ever been kidnapped and tied up on a first date before. That's more second or third date material…"

Before she can comment on this, two of the men walk into the warehouse and approach them. They look from the detective to the writer, trying to decide who they wanted to address. One of them pulls out a knife and steps closer to Kate while the other keeps his eyes on Castle. "We want to know how much you know about us."

"We don't know anything," Beckett says before the writer can speak up.

"I doubt that. Now start talking."

"Dick Coonan and Hal Lockwood. That's all we know," Castle tells him, not looking at her. "We have no other names, nothing to identify anyone else in this by. We just knew there were more of you out there, especially since you kept sending her death threats."

"We will make good on those threats if you don't give up what you know."

"We don't know anything else," Beckett insists, trying to hide the pain from her face so that they don't know that she is already hurt.

The man presses his knife to her throat. Castle begins to squirm. "Don't hurt her. I swear we're telling you the truth. We don't know who you are or who's at the top of this thing."

"Okay… maybe you don't know anything about who we are. But who else knows that Hal Lockwood was not the end of this? Who knows that there are more of us to find? Tell us, and we'll make it painless for you."

"The whole NYPD knows," Kate answers.

"You'll never get away with this. You may kill us, but there are still plenty of others out there who will find you. You can't possibly kill them all without getting caught," Castle glances at her, still trying to loosen his bindings in hopes of breaking free and rescuing her.

"We want names. Who specifically has been working on this case?"

Both Castle and Beckett stare at him silently, not daring to look at each other.

"Go ahead," the leader tells the other man, his eyes still fixed on Castle.

The second man removes the knife from her neck only to run the edge of it along her bare upper arm, slowly adding pressure until her skin breaks. The writer watches in horror as blood begins to drip from her arm. He looks to her face, trying to figure what he should do. He doesn't want to give Ryan and Esposito away, but he can't stand the thought of her being hurt. She, however, has her gaze fixed on the floor off to the side.

"Give me their names and we'll put her out of her misery. Keep your mouth shut and things will get much worse for her."

He hesitates, unsure of what to do.

She looks up at him and sees that he is conflicted. "Keep your mouth shut, Castle. Don't give them anything."

The knife travels up to her face, making a knick in her cheek. He cringes, both because he can't stand her being hurt and because he knows she's going to hurt him for giving in. "Detectives Ryan and Esposito," Rick says, dragging his eyes away from her and up to his face.

The leader lifts the gun he had been holding in his hand and aims it at Castle. The writer's eyes widen in horror.

"No," Beckett yells, pulling at the tape and completely blocking out the pain in her ribs.

"Say goodbye to your friend, Detective. We'll be back for you later," the man tells her, not even looking at her.

The second man uses his knife to cut the tape on her wrists a second before the first pulls the trigger of his gun, the bullet headed straight for Castle.

**A/N: And now you're probably all mad at me. Do you want another chapter? I'm leaving Saturday morning, but if you really want another, I'd be willing to post tomorrow sometime. But I don't think next chapter ends much better than this one; you'd still be mad that you have to wait until Wednesday for an update. Well... five more chapters to go. Keep the reviews coming please.**


	26. I Need Him

**Chapter 26: I Need Him**

_Now I am strong_

"Castle," she yells, ripping the tape from her other wrist and practically throwing herself at him, completely ignoring the two men as they leave the warehouse. Blood is staining the shoulder of his shirt, and she presses her hands tightly against his chest in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

"Kate," he says softly, reaching out to wipe the blood coming from the cut on her cheek.

"You can't leave me, Castle. You promised."

"I don't want to leave you, Kate. I never want to leave your side."

"Please, Rick. I need you. You have to fight for this."

"I'll try," he closes his eyes, trying to block out the pain. "We need help. You have to leave, Kate. You have to try to get help. Get out before they come back for you. I'll wait here until you find help."

"No. I'm not leaving you, Castle."

"Save yourself, Kate."

"No. It's my fault that you were hurt, and I'm not leaving you here to die. I'm not going anywhere unless you're coming with me," she tries to keep the pressure on his wound as tears start to fall from her eyes.

"You promised. You said you'd take care of Alexis if anything happened to me," his voice is becoming weaker.

"I… I'm sorry, Castle. I can't."

"Kate… please. Get out of here while you can. Tell her and mother that I love them."

"I'm sure they've locked the door. They aren't just going to let me escape from here."

"You have to try."

"Hang in there, Rick. You can't die on me. Alexis and Martha will kill me if you do. They're going to hate me for letting this happen to you."

"No, they won't. They love you, Kate. They know that this isn't your fault. And I don't blame you either. I'm just glad you weren't alone," he gives her a small smile.

"You shouldn't have tried to save me, Castle. You should have just let it go and gone for help."

"Sorry for trying to be your knight in shining armor."

A soft smile escapes through her tears, "You've already saved me more times than you know, Rick. And I thank you for that."

"Glad to be of service."

"You can't leave," she whispers. "I need you. I don't know what I'd do without you, Rick. Don't leave me here."

"Kate," Castle reaches out to touch her face again. "I love you. Nothing is ever going to change that."

"Rick…" the tears begin to fall more heavily. "No. Please."

"You're beautiful and extraordinary, and I want you to be happy. I want you to find these guys and bring your mom justice. And I'll always love you. Always."

She leans forward to kiss him, "I love you too, Rick. Always."

Before either of them can continue with their goodbye, the warehouse door is kicked in. Ryan and Esposito rush in, followed by Montgomery and backup, all with guns drawn. "Beckett," Esposito shouts, running toward her and Castle.

"He was shot," she tells them as they all approach.

Ryan yells for the paramedics, and seconds later they are rushing in. He and Esposito have to pull her away from Castle so that they can do their job. They load him onto a stretcher and start to wheel him out of the room. She tries to follow them, but the detectives hold her back. "You need to get checked out too, Beckett. Then we'll take you to the hospital to see him."

Esposito puts a hand around her waist to guide her toward the door where the other paramedics are waiting. She winces and lets out a small yelp, the pain starting to return as the adrenaline wears off. "You okay, Kate?" he looks her over, wondering what she and Castle had been put through, having been in a similar situation just weeks before.

"I fell down the stairs. Think I've got a few broken ribs."

"Can you walk okay?" he rests a hand on her arm, deciding it safer.

"I think so."

He helps her over to the ambulance, Ryan following closely behind them. "Alexis called us when Castle didn't come home. She said you two were going on a date. We went by your place, figured something had happened and pulled surveillance. Got a license plate on their van and found it here."

"Did you get them?"

"We saw four in the video but only three were here. We had to shoot. I'm sorry, Beckett," Ryan apologizes.

"Don't be. You saved us. Well, me. And hopefully Castle," she says while the paramedic checks out the cuts on her body.

"So you two…?"

"Yes. I… Can I borrow a phone? I need to call Alexis, to let her know what happened. She should be there in case he…"

Esposito hands her his phone, "We'll send a uniform over to pick her up."

Alexis picks up on the first ring. "Alexis? It's Kate. I…"

"Are you okay?" the teenager asks worriedly.

"I'll be fine. But your father… he was shot. It looked pretty bad, but I don't really know how serious it is. We're sending someone over to pick you up so you can meet us at the hospital. I… I'm sorry, Alexis," Kate has to work to keep her tears from falling again.

"O-Okay. Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Dad's been fighting for two years for you, and he's finally got you. He's not going to give up now. He's going to make it through this."

She can't find anything to say to this. Esposito gently takes the phone from her and tells the teenager what they know, sparing her the gruesome details. The paramedic gently pushes her down on the stretcher, and Ryan climbs in the back of the ambulance with her before it takes off for the hospital.

"Detective?" the paramedic looks at her. "I'm going to put an IV in you and give you some medication for the pain. It's going to make you drowsy; don't fight it. When we get to the hospital, they'll take you to get x-rays and scans done to make sure nothing was punctured."

"Ryan?" she turns her head to him as the paramedic works. "Martha… someone needs to let her know what's going on. She'd want to be here."

"We called her on our way to the warehouse; we didn't know what we'd find, but we figured at the very least you both would be a little banged up. She was getting on the next plane back to New York."

"Thanks."

"It's no problem. We're just really glad you're alive."

"I don't know what I'm going to do if he doesn't make it," she says quietly, biting her lip.

"He's not going down without a fight."

"He wasn't supposed to get hurt. It was supposed to be me. I was supposed to protect him. But he had to go and play hero again and opened his mouth. I told him not to. I told him to let me take it, but he wouldn't. It's all my fault."

"No one blames you, Beckett. You didn't pull that trigger."

She wipes her eyes with her hand, "I should have sacrificed myself in order to save him. He has a family and people who care about him."

"So do you. Kate, his family cares about you just as much as they care about him. And Castle… he'd be a wreck if something had happened to you."

"Castle has to be okay. He promised me he wouldn't leave. I need him."

**A/N: Told you this wasn't much better. But I believe next chapter might make you even more angry with me so we'll leave it here until Wednesday. I'm off to New York. Maybe I'll see Castle and Beckett there...**


	27. Goodbye

**Chapter 27: Goodbye**

_You gave me all_

Alexis jumps up when Kate opens her eyes. "You're okay!" she exclaims, coming over to hug the detective as best she can.

"Shouldn't you be with your father?" she asks, looking around the hospital room.

"No, he just got out of surgery less than five minutes ago. The doctor just came to talk to Gram, and he said it'd be a little while before we could see him. But he's going to be okay," the red-head smiles brightly at this.

Relief washes through her at this news, but she can't bring herself to be as excited about it as Alexis. "I…"

Before she can apologize, the door to her room opens and her coworkers all walk in. "Beckett, you're awake," Montgomery says, smiling. "How are you feeling?"

"I can't feel much of anything right now."

"You've heard the good news about Castle?" Ryan asks, knowing how worried she'd been earlier.

"Yeah. That's great."

Lanie studies her friend, wondering why she didn't seem to mean what she had said. From what Ryan and Esposito had said, she had been torn up about the whole situation and was blaming herself for this; she should have been ecstatic that he was going to live. "You doing okay, girl? I thought you'd be happier about this."

"Yeah, I'm fine. And I'm happy; it's just taking a bit to sink in."

"I guess they've got you pretty heavily medicated…" Lanie concedes. "You've got two broken ribs, but you were lucky; they didn't puncture anything and do any damage. They did some scans on your head too because they found a bump but nothing came up."

"Yeah, I hit my head a few times I think."

"The rest was minor cuts and bruises that should clear up in a week or two. Looks like they got to you just in time."

"It wasn't me that needed saving," Kate says softly.

The three cops and the ME look at each other. Montgomery steps closer to the side of her bed, "Beckett… Kate, you're on leave for at least a week. And you'll be on desk duty when you come back. But I really think you should use some of the days you've got stocked up, spend some time with Castle and let yourself heal before coming back in."

"I'll see you in a week then, Sir," she says, clearly indicating that she wasn't going to listen to his suggestion.

"A week from when you get out of the hospital," the captain clarifies.

"I'm leaving today."

They all look at one another again. "Why don't you see how Castle is doing?" Lanie suggests, wanting to talk to her friend alone. The three men nod reluctantly before exiting, Alexis trailing behind them. "Girl, what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing. I don't like hospitals."

"Even if they release you, you're going to be here for a while. Castle's not going to be getting out for a few days, and you'd better be sitting by his side until then unless you're in this hospital bed."

"Lanie," she protests.

"Don't Lanie me. He follows you around every day for two years; he's always been there for you. The least you can do is sit by his side while he suffers. Which, by the way, he is doing for you."

"Please don't remind me, Lanie. I know this is my fault. He could have died, and it would have been entirely my fault."

"But he didn't," the ME places a hand on hers. "So you should spend as much time with him as you can to celebrate that. Especially since I heard that you two were supposed to be going on a date when you were kidnapped."

"Lanie, I can't do this," Kate avoids her friend's eyes.

"He loves you, Kate. And I know that you love him too. Don't do this to yourself; don't do this to him."

"I love him. And I have to let him go before something happens to him again. He's just going to keep trying to save me unless I break it off now."

"Kate, you're making a mistake."

"I know what I'm doing, Lanie. Now please go get a doctor so I can get out of here."

"I really think you need to stay here. Get some rest and think about all of this. Wait until you're clearheaded and not drugged to make this decision. And maybe if you just talked to him when he wakes up he'll listen; he'll quit shadowing you, and then he'll never get hurt again. But you can still be together."

"No, Lanie. He's not going to give it up, not unless I quit being a detective. And I can't do that. So… I'm making the choice for him. We're through because it's too dangerous for us to be together; it's too… painful."

"He's not going to like this, Kate. He's not going to give up on you, and you know, if I were him, I would have given up a long time ago."

There is a knock on the door before it opens and her father walks in. "Dad… what are you doing here?"

"You're in the hospital, Katie. Of course I'm going to come," he looks to Lanie, wanting her confirmation that his daughter is going to be okay.

"She'll be just fine, Jim. She's just being stubborn right now."

"Lanie, please get a doctor so I can get out of here."

The ME looks to her father, hoping that maybe he could talk some sense into his daughter, before she leaves the hospital room.

"Katie, are you sure that you should be leaving the hospital?"

"I'm fine, Dad. I'm not dying or anything; they shouldn't have called you."

"They told me your partner… the writer had been shot. Shouldn't you be here with him? I think you should be here for him and his family; they told me you were pretty close," he tries again.

"It's my fault he's here so no, I'm pretty sure I should be leaving them alone so they can get back to their normal lives without me in it."

"You can't bury yourself in this case again, Katie. It's going to get you killed. And I couldn't stand to lose you to these guys too."

"Dad," she protests.

"No. I know you feel like you have to find these people to bring her justice. But she wouldn't want you to get yourself killed for her sake, Katie."

Before either of them can say more Lanie walks in with the doctor in tow. "Detective Beckett, I have to recommend that you stay here at least until tomorrow morning," the doctor advises.

"I want out of here now. If you won't discharge me, then I'm just going to walk out."

The doctor studies her for a long moment. "Fine. I will go get the paperwork and get a prescription for painkillers. But you had better be resting or you're going to end up right back in here with a punctured lung. Those ribs of yours need time to heal."

"Fine."

The doctor leaves, and Lanie turns to her father. "You'll get her home safely?"

"Yes."

"They're letting us see Castle now so I'm going to go. Call me if you need anything, Kate," the ME says before walking out, leaving the two Becketts in silence.

"Dad, you're not staying."

"Kate."

"I'm serious. I can manage on my own."

"Fine. But I'm driving you home and making sure you have food and stuff so you don't have to go out."

"Fine."

The doctor comes back in with her papers and medication. A nurse follows him in to help her get ready to leave. Jim waits outside while she gets changed into a pair of hospital scrubs.

She looks at her father when she leaves the room. "I want to say bye to Castle first."

"Okay."

The nurse points them in the right direction, and when they get there, Martha and Alexis are sitting outside. "Kate," Martha smiles at her. "You're up. Richard's not awake yet, but I'm sure he would want you in there. Go on."

"Why are you out here?"

"He can only have so many visitors at a time. We thought we'd let your colleagues get a chance to see him before they left. But you go ahead and stay as long as you like dear."

"Actually, I just wanted to see him for a few minutes to say goodbye. I have to get out of here."

"Okay, dear. Why don't you go back to the loft and rest there? You can take Alexis with you that way she can help with anything you need. I'll stay here with Richard and call if anything changes."

"Actually… I really need to be alone right now."

"Oh… okay, Kate, dear. Just let us know if there's anything we can do for you. And feel free to come visit Richard any time. He'd want you here."

She nods, not sure what else to say. As she walks into his hospital room, her coworkers look up at her. They nod to her before leaving, giving her some space with him.

Kate takes in his pale skin, his closed eyes, and his even breathing and she can't stop the tears that form in her eyes at the thought of leaving him. "Castle," she whispers as she takes his hand. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen to you. It should have been me. I just… I can't stand to see you hurt so… I have to do this. I have to leave. And I know it's going to be hard for both of us, but it's for your own good, Castle, so please… don't try to change my mind."

She squeezes his hand and few tears trail down her cheek. "Thank you for everything you've done for me, Rick. I really appreciate it, and I liked having you around. But I can't have you getting killed because of me. So… goodbye."

Kate leans down to kiss his cheek softly before whispering, "I love you, Rick. Always."

**A/N: And now you guys hate me more than you did when you thought I was going to kill Castle. Which, by the way, never crossed my mine. Actually, I'm not sure I would kill either one of them ever; I could never choose which one it would be. So they'd either both die or hopefully both live. Anyway... New York was interesting... didn't see Castle and Beckett though... I hope to update again Saturday. Three chapters to go. Oh, and thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter.**


	28. For the Best

**Chapter 28: For the Best**

_You gave all you had and now I am home_

Rick slowly opens his eyes, taking in his surroundings. "Kate?" he manages to get out, not seeing her in the room.

Two red-heads are though. "Dad," Alexis smiles brightly at him and leans over to take his hand. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Kate," he repeats, trying to sit up so he can go find her.

"No, Dad, you have to stay here. You're going to hurt yourself," the teenager exclaims, gently pushing him back down on the bed with her grandmother's help. She is a little upset that he is thinking about the detective over his family but is even more upset with the detective for not being here.

"She can't be dead," he says, still looking around as though she was hiding and would come into view at any moment.

"Beckett is fine, dear," Martha tells him, sitting on the chair beside his bed opposite Alexis.

"Is she in her own room? I want to go see her."

"No, she's not in a room. She left already, Richard, dear."

"Left? But she was hurt. Or are you just trying to tell me that she's dead in a nice way?"

"She's not dead. She's just… not at the hospital. She went home earlier."

"Oh… Is she coming back later?"

Martha and Alexis look at each other. "I don't know, Dad. I'm sure she'll come visit you soon. She just needs a little time alone right now, and she also needs to rest so she can get better."

"Better? How bad was she hurt?"

"It was just her ribs; they're broken but they didn't puncture anything. And she has a few cuts on her body, but they'll heal soon."

"I should be with her. Get a doctor so I can leave."

"Dad, you're not leaving. You were shot. You need to stay here, or you're going to hurt yourself more. I'm sure Kate understands, and she doesn't expect you to be there right now."

"But I want to see her," he says quietly. "I need to see her."

"I'm sure she'll come visit you soon."

"She was discharged already… so that means she didn't hurt her head, right? There was no damage?"

"They didn't find anything unusual when they did all the scans."

"Is someone taking care of her? She shouldn't be alone."

"Her father took her home; he probably stayed to make sure she was okay. And Lanie had a talk with her and made sure she knew to call someone if she needed anything at all."

"Home… You should tell her she can stay at the loft; we've got plenty of space, and she wouldn't be in the way or anything. And then she has people to take care of her."

"We offered, Richard," Martha assures him. "But I think it's best she takes a little time to herself."

"Did anyone say anything about the case? Is it over? Did they get them all?"

"We don't know; they didn't discuss it with us."

"Someone give me a phone and I'll call them," he holds a hand out.

"Dad, I think you should get some rest right now. They'll come visit you again soon, and you can ask them all of your questions then."

"I'll get rest if you two leave. You need sleep too."

"No funny business. If we leave, Richard, we better not be hearing anything from the nurses next time we come and you better not be trying to sneak off to see her."

"I'll be good," he promises, smiling. Then he kisses each of them as they hug him, "I love you."

**CB**

Alexis pulls the door to the loft open, "Kate… we thought you weren't coming back."

"I… came to get my stuff and to apologize."

The teenager steps aside, "Let me help you pack up." She doesn't want the detective to leave again and hopes that maybe she can convince her to stay. But if she can't, maybe the detective isn't leaving for good; maybe she really just needs some space for a few days and then everything can go back to how it was before.

Kate heads to Castle's bedroom, reluctantly letting Alexis follow her to help. "I wasn't sure you'd be home; I thought you still might be at the hospital with him."

"We came back about an hour ago; Gram thought we should get some rest, and Dad needed sleep so… we came back here."

"How is he doing?"

"Okay. He woke up earlier. The first words he said after waking were to ask how you were. He kind of panicked when he didn't see you in the room; he thought you hadn't made it or that you were so severely hurt that you couldn't be there. But we told him you were going to be fine, that you had left earlier. He… was disappointed you weren't there."

The detective swallows the lump in her throat, trying not to let her emotions get to her. Of course he would be more concerned about her than himself. "So there weren't any complications later on? He's still doing fine?"

"Yep. He has to stay for a few more days, but the doctors say he should be perfectly fine in a few weeks," she puts the last Kate's clothes in her bag, trying to bite back a response about how she would have known how he was doing if she had stayed.

"I, uh… have some things that I need to say to both of you," Kate beings nervously.

"Oh… let me go get Gram then," Alexis says, leaving the room.

The detective grabs her bag and makes her way to the living room to wait for them. While waiting, she pulls her keys out and removes the key that Castle had given her.

"How are you doing, dear?" Martha asks as she descends the stairs, the teenager right behind her.

"I'm fine," Kate gives her a tight smile. "I… I wanted to apologize for what happened to Castle. It's completely my fault. That bullet should have been mine, and I'm really sorry that he was the one who took it. You two shouldn't have had to go through that; _he_ shouldn't have had to go through that."

"Nonsense, dear. Richard didn't deserve that bullet but neither did you. He would have been devastated if it had been you."

"I promised you that I'd keep him safe, and I failed."

"Kate, this is Dad's fault. He knew what he was getting into. He was determined to try and help you, and nothing you could have done would have changed his mind about that. You didn't fail; he's still alive, and he'll be back to normal in no time," Alexis tries to smile reassuringly at the detective.

"I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me. I really appreciate it. And I think that the best thing for us to do… the best thing we can do to keep Castle safe… is to end it. So… I guess this is good bye," she says, holding the key she had been clenching in her fist out to them.

Martha stares at her in shock. Alexis looks like she's about to cry. "No… We won't take it. It's yours."

Kate looks away from them, biting her lip. She sets the key down on the table before turning back to them. "I know you probably hate me right now, between letting him get shot and leaving him, but it's for the best."

"No, Kate, it's not. You promised. You said you wouldn't leave," the red-headed girl pleads, now letting the tears run down her cheeks. She couldn't stand to see the detective just walk away from them, from her father. He was going to be devastated.

"Tell Castle that he is no longer needed at the precinct. Tell him that I want him to be happy, that he should find someone else that makes him happy."

Martha is still in shock; she had known that Kate was going to blame herself for all of this, that she'd want to keep Castle safe, but she had never thought she'd resort to leaving him in order to do so.

"No. If you want to end this - if you want to say good bye - then you can do it to his face. You don't even have the courage to say good bye to him in person, and I'm not going to be the one to break his heart for you," Alexis says bitterly before running up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door shut.

Kate closes her eyes for a moment, trying not to let the angry words affect her. Unable to bear seeing the older red-head's disappointment, she exits the loft, refusing to allow herself to look back.

**A/N: And the sadness continues... and so does the hatred. But I promise things will get better next chapter when Castle is free of the hospital. I will try to post Thursday or Friday. Thanks.**


	29. Not Giving Up

**Chapter 29: Not Giving Up**

_My love, leave yourself behind_

Castle stands outside her door, trying to work up the courage to knock. He had gotten out of the hospital that morning and had immediately wanted to confront her, but they wouldn't let him. Alexis had gone to school and his mother had stepped out to get groceries for dinner that evening, so he had used the opportunity to sneak out to see her. Finally he just knocks, deciding that he'd just have to hope that she would fail to check to see who it is again and open the door for him.

Kate pulls the door halfway open before spotting him and freezing. "Castle? What are you doing here?"

"I'm not dead," he says as he pushes the door open further before stepping in and shutting it behind him.

She frowns at him, "I know you're not dead."

"Are you sure? Because you're acting like I'm gone and never coming back."

She sighs, "Castle, don't make me do this."

"Why are you doing this, Kate?"

"Because I don't want anything to happen to you. You have a family to worry about; I've lost someone I loved, and I don't want your family to have to go through that. They need you more than I do."

"Mother and Alexis are perfectly capable of getting by without me." She opens her mouth to protest, but he stops her. "I'm not saying that it wouldn't cause them a lot of pain, but they could survive. You, I'm not so sure about."

She scoffs at this, "Don't flatter yourself, Castle. I got along just fine before you came along, and I could get over the loss and go back to that. I don't need you in my life."

"Okay, maybe you don't need me. But I need you. I'm not going to give up on this, Kate. I'm not giving up on you. I'm going to fight for this because it's right. This thing that we have is incredible, and it's worth fighting for."

She bites her lip, looking away from him, "Please, Castle. I'm not worth it."

"Yes, you are."

"No. Don't get yourself killed over me."

"Why not, Kate? You're trying to get yourself killed over her," Rick immediately regrets the words as soon as they're out of his mouth.

A look of hurt crosses her face briefly before the anger takes over, "That's what you think? You think I'm trying to get killed over this? Because I'm not. I'm just trying to bring her justice. She deserves that."

"And every time you reopen her case you practically get killed. Coonan had a gun in the precinct. Lockwood would have killed you had I not gotten to him first. They would have killed you the other day if it hadn't been for me giving them names; they probably would have come back to finish you off if Ryan and Esposito hadn't shown up. So, yes, it does seem that you're willing to sacrifice yourself in order to bring her justice."

Kate clenches her fists and closes her eyes to block out the pain of his words. "Get out."

"Do you really think that that is what she would have wanted for you? I didn't know her, but I'm sure she wouldn't want you to get yourself killed over her. She would want you to be happy, Kate. Don't do this. Don't push me away. Not unless I'm really not the one that makes you happy."

She keeps her fists clenched but the anger slowly dissipates from her face as she hesitates, refusing to look at him.

"I love you, Kate. Nothing you say or do is ever going to change that. If you don't feel the same way, then I'll respect that and leave. But if you do… don't give this up, don't let it pass by. Anything you need me to do and I'll do it," Rick pauses before continuing. "If it meant we could still be together, I would give up shadowing you for good."

"Don't make promises you have no intention of keeping, Castle."

"Kate."

"Just go."

"Tell me you don't love me."

"I don't."

"Say it. To my face."

It takes her a moment to compose herself before she turns to look him in the eyes. "I don't… I don't love you, Castle."

He stares at her for a long moment. "You're lying."

"So what if I am?"

"For a detective you're not a very good liar."

"For a writer you don't listen very well."

He frowns at her, "What does that have to do with writing?"

She shrugs, giving him a small smile. "I don't know. But it's still true."

Castle steps closer to her and envelops her in a hug. She tenses for only a second before relaxing against him. "I'm sorry. For what I said about you, for getting shot and making you think I was going to leave you, for… anything else I've ever done."

"I'm sorry too, Rick. I do need you in my life. And I shouldn't have reacted to you getting shot the way I did; it was wrong to try to run away from this and think that we'd both be okay."

He tightens his arms, still trying to be mindful of her ribs so he doesn't hurt her. He kisses the top of her head before allowing her to pull back from him slightly. "I was serious about my offer, Kate. If you really want me to stop shadowing you, I would do it."

She hesitates, bringing one hand up to cover his heart and the other to cover the wound on his shoulder. "Yes… I do. I think it's for the best, Rick. Maybe once some time has passed and we're both healed I'll let you come back, but right now I'd like you to stop."

"Okay," he kisses her temple.

"Thank you."

"How… how is the case? Is it all over?"

She shakes her head, "They shot three of them in the warehouse when they found us. They never saw a fourth man; he's out there somewhere. They were going to try to identify them and see if they could figure anything else out. I'm betting there's still someone higher up calling the shots. But they haven't told me anything since I woke up in the hospital; Montgomery probably told them to keep me out of it so he wouldn't have to deal with me trying to come back to work the case."

"You're on desk duty?"

"Actually he banned me from the precinct for a week."

He leads her over to the couch so they can sit down. "You have a lot of vacation days saved up, right?"

She looks at him warily, "Why?"

"I was thinking that maybe we could get away from the city for a while. We both can heal and you won't be tempted to go back to work before you should. We can spend time together and be grateful that we're both still here."

"Castle…"

"And you say I have a dirty mind, Beckett," he rolls his eyes at her. "I didn't mean it like that. It's probably not such a good idea with both of us hurt. But I mean… if you really wanted to…"

Now she rolls her eyes at him, "Where did you have in mind?"

"I'm not particular. A bed, the kitchen, right here on the couch, even your car would work."

She hits him in the arm, "Castle, get that out of your mind."

"Well, there's always the Hamptons if you didn't want to go too far. But really, wherever you want to go is fine with me."

"You're still just trying to see me in a bathing suit, Castle."

"Am not. Besides, it's February. The water's a little cold. But… I do have a hot tub so you should still bring that swim suit."

"I don't know, Castle. You probably don't want to see me in a swim suit right now."

"Just because you can't exercise for two months doesn't mean you're going to gain weight, Kate. And even if you gain a little, it's no big deal. You'll always be beautiful."

She blushes, "That's not exactly what I was referring to." Pulling back from him slightly, she lifts her shirt up to reveal the bruises that cover her ribs.

He grimaces, "That looks… painful. I'm so sorry."

"You couldn't have done anything. And it's really not bad unless I put pressure on it."

"How many did you break?"

"Three."

"And there's nothing they can do?"

"Not really. They should heal on their own if I don't strain them. Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"When I was shot in the shoulder, they made me wear a sling so I couldn't move my arm."

"They gave me a sling. I just don't want to wear it."

"Rick, your shoulder isn't going to heal properly if you don't."

"It's fine. I'm not using it to do anything strenuous."

Before she can yell at him, there is a knock on her door. She goes to answer it, and he notices that she fails to look through the peephole before answering yet again. "Hey, Lanie."

"Did you go see Castle in the hospital yet? Because if you haven't, girl, I'm going to smack you. You're making a big mistake, and after everything he's done for you, he really doesn't deserve the cold shoulder from you. Not for this. It wasn't even his…" the ME stops when Kate steps aside, revealing Castle on the couch.

"Doctor Parish, how nice to see you," Castle smiles and waves.

She looks from one to the other, "I should go. I don't want to be in the way. I mean… you have apologized to him and made up right?"

"We're fine, Lanie."

He comes to the door, "I should probably go. You two were going to spend time together, and I should've called first or something."

"No, it's fine, Writer Boy. You stay here and keep her company. Esposito will be glad to see me back so soon," Lanie grins at them before heading out.

"Do you want me to go, Kate? It's not a big deal. Mother's probably freaking out."

She gives him a small smile, "I'd like it if you would stay."

"I will. Just give me a second to call and let Mother know I'm okay; I'm really surprised she hasn't called yet anyway." He watches her tense at the mention of his mother and looks at her questioningly.

Kate turns her face away, "You… you should go home to your family, Rick."

"Come with me."

"No. They have to hate me right now for what I did to you."

"They don't blame you for me getting shot."

"Maybe not. But I intentionally walked away from us - from you, Rick - and the looks of horror on their faces when I told them I was ending it… They completely hated me."

"They didn't hate you. And if they did, they'll get over when they know everything is right again," he takes her hand. "So is the Hamptons okay? Because we can go anywhere."

"That's fine. We don't have to go far."

"Then we'll leave tomorrow morning."

"I can't take you from your family, Rick. Especially after you got shot."

"I'll take the blame for this if they don't like it. You just be packed tomorrow morning. And I was thinking… Alexis has a three day weekend next week. They could join us then. And maybe we could come back to the city after that. Unless you want to stay longer, of course. That would be fine too."

"Rick, they already hate me for leaving. Kidnapping you isn't going to get me on their good side."

"It isn't kidnapping."

"At least let me apologize to them before we go and ask if they mind."

"No."

"Because you know they won't like it."

"No, because I think a little time to ourselves is needed and giving them time to cool down and think about things would be best."

"Because they hate me."

Rick squeezes her hand, "Can you trust me on something for once?"

Kate's green eyes meet his blue ones, "I do trust you."

**A/N: So it's all okay in the end, just like I told you it would be. Well, it's not quite okay with his family, but it'll get there next chapter. I feel like this story has gone on forever... but now there's only one chapter left. It should be up Monday or Tuesday. So... something happened to my computer the other day and all my documents and stuff went missing. I was very upset; I mean, most of what I had was old fanfiction stories that are posted here so that wasn't big but I had one story started that I thought I lost. I was able to open the document from the recent items panel thing, but it only had three of the four and a half chapter I had written on it. For some reason I write in OneNote and then copy it to word and then copy the chapter individually to put them on here. But it ended up all my stuff was just hidden so now I don't have to rewrite those couple chapters. I think this is like the first time I've finished posting a story without having another one finished. Well, maybe not; I don't think I was completely done with this one when I started posting. Anyway... hope you enjoyed this one, especially now that they're back together. Please tell me what you thought.**


	30. Forever

**Chapter 30: Forever**

_Beat inside me, I'll be with you_

"Can I help?" Kate asks, watching him working on their dinner. Alexis and Martha were supposed to be arriving soon, and she needs something to keep her occupied so she would quit worrying.

"Nope."

"Please?"

"Kate, stop worrying."

"I can't, Castle. This isn't going to work if they hate me."

He stops what he is doing and approaches her, "How many times do I have to tell you that things will work out? After all, my mother and daughter have been waiting for us to get together since we met practically. If they were mad, it didn't last long."

Before she can comment, they hear the front door to the beach house open. Seconds later Alexis is hugging her dad. "I missed you," she tells him.

Kate tries to step away from them, not really sure what to do, but Martha stops her before she can get far. "Hello, Kate, dear," she greets, pulling the younger woman into a hug.

It takes a moment for the detective to return the embrace. "Martha, I wanted to apologize for my actions. I shouldn't have run away from this. Your son is a wonderful man, and I really don't deserve him."

"Don't be silly, dear," she smiles, pulling back. "And you have nothing to apologize to me for. I understand what you were going through." Lowering her voice to make sure neither of the Castles heard her, she adds, "Alexis, on the other hand, might need that apology. She's being a little stubborn, but I think if you just talk to her, she'll come around."

They separate, as do Alexis and her father, and Martha hugs her son. Kate notices that Alexis is avoiding her gaze and steps closer to her. "Can we talk?" she asks quietly.

Alexis hesitates before nodding and heading out the back door of the house. The detective follows her out onto the deck and down onto the sand of the beach.

"Alexis, you have every right to be mad at me. I completely understand. I would be mad at me too if I was in your position; hell, I am mad at myself for what I did. It wasn't fair to him or to you or your grandmother. But I thought that what I was doing would keep him safe, and to me, that was more important than my happiness or even his. I just wanted him to be alive because I couldn't stand it if he wasn't. And I didn't want you to have to go through what I did with losing a parent. What I did… running away… it was wrong. And I'm sorry that I did it," Kate tries to explain as they stand side-by-side staring out at the water.

"I don't want to be mad at you, Kate. I really don't. I mean… I've never seen Dad so happy and… I really do like you."

"It means a lot to me that you support your father and me being in a relationship."

Alexis turns toward her, "I do want to be supportive of this. But I need some kind of assurance that it's not going to happen again. That you're not going to run off again when things get difficult or when one of you gets hurt. Dad went after you this time. But I don't know if he'd keep doing it; I know he loves you and you care a lot about him, but at some point he's going to tire of chasing you. And I don't want to see that happen. He'd be devastated if you left him; he wouldn't have the motivation to even get out of bed. I don't want to see him like that, Kate. I need you to promise me it won't happen again."

"You know I can't do that, Alexis," Kate says softly, turning her gaze back to the ocean. "I can't guarantee that I'm never going to leave him. With my job, there are no guarantees; I can't promise that I'm going to come home to him every night because there's always a chance that I won't. But I will promise that I will never voluntarily walk away from him… from us again. There will be times when I need to be alone for a bit to think about things and cool down if we have a fight, but I'm always going to come back to him, Alexis. I never intended on letting him in like this when he first started shadowing me, but now that he's made it past all the walls I put up to stop him, I'm not going to let him go. I need him in my life."

The teenager throws her arms around the detective, "Thank you, Kate." She pulls back a few moments later. "Dad… said you wanted him to totally quit following you."

"I did tell him that," she nods.

"I… I understand why you're doing it, Kate. But you have my permission to keep him as a partner, and I'd really like you to take the offer. He's going to go crazy if he has to stay at home all day thinking about you out there in danger. He's not going to be able to write when he's not absolutely sure you're safe and nearby. Even if you just took him back a couple days a week, like in our original agreement, it would be better for all of us. At least promise to think about it?"

"I will think about it for now," the detective promises, looking out at the ocean once more before turning to the red-head. "More than likely he'll bother both of us until I give in and let him shadow me again."

They share a smile before Alexis's phone starts to ring. She reads the new text message, smiling again. "I think we're being watched."

The two turn around to find Castle standing on the deck watching them. "What?" he asks at their looks. "I can't watch two of my favorite women?"

"Not when it's spying, Dad."

"I thought you were making dinner, Castle."

"I was. But it's ready now. Or whenever you two are done talking."

"Give us a few minutes. And go back inside and don't spy on us," Alexis orders.

"Are you sure you don't want me to join you? I could be the mediator or something."

"We're fine," Kate glares at him, and he reluctantly heads back into the house.

"He's going to watch through the window," the teenager sighs. "Does he really think we wouldn't work things out?"

She ignores the question, "Alexis, I'm sorry about the past week and a half. I didn't mean to take your father away from you, especially after his injury. And I want you to know that I don't ever want to take him from you so if you ever need him or feel he's not spending enough time with you, let me know. I don't want him to have to choose between the two of us, but if he has to, it should be you."

"I appreciate that, Kate. And I don't want to keep Dad from you either. I only have one more year before I graduate, and I'd really like it if we could all spend time together."

"I like that idea too. And I'm sure your father will be thrilled."

Alexis smiles at her again before turning to head up the beach to the house, the detective falling into step beside her. "So Dad's doing okay? Everything's healing right?"

"Yeah. He wouldn't let me help him with dinner earlier so I guess his shoulder isn't causing him much pain anymore. I couldn't get him to wear the sling at all, but until today he hasn't really used his arm much. He was already bragging about the scar he's going to have."

"And you?"

"Fine. The bruising is almost gone, and it only hurts when I apply pressure or move a certain way."

"Are you guys coming back with us?"

"We haven't talked about it really, but I think it's time for us to go back to the city."

"Took you long enough," Castle grumbles when they get inside. Martha is seated at the table, and he is pouring her a glass of wine.

They both glare at him as they sit at the table. He offers the wine bottle to his daughter. "Dad, I'm only seventeen."

"So? I had already had alcohol at that age."

"You'd already done a lot of things you shouldn't have at my age."

"Point taken," he agrees. "But if you want some, I give you permission. You know… just to try it. Before you end up drunk at some crazy party."

"Dad, Kate's a cop."

"She can't arrest you if I give it to you. Besides, she's really not that scary without her gun and handcuffs," Castle whispers loudly.

Kate decides to change the conversation, "What's been going on for the past two weeks?"

"Ashley came up to me the other day to apologize for breaking up with me. He wants to get back together."

"What did you say?" her father asks worriedly.

"I told him I'd have to think about it."

"He doesn't deserve another chance."

Beckett turns to him, "Isn't that a little hypocritical, Castle?"

He freezes with his fork halfway to his mouth. "I… don't know what you're talking about, Beckett. We were never dating when you gave me all those chances."

"So? I've already messed this up, and you've given me another chance."

"That's… different. We were in extenuating circumstances. And we're not teenagers; we know that this is it for us."

"I think that if she can forgive him for what he did and she still likes him, then they should give it another try."

"He's just going to break her heart again."

"And? If she tells him no and gets a new boyfriend, he could break her heart too. He probably will. There's not saying that Ashley's not going to do it again, but there's always a possibility of him being the one and her regretting her decision should she tell him no."

"Have you ever gotten back together with one of your ex-boyfriends?"

"No," she answers honestly. "Other than you."

"I've done that before. Gina. And Meredith and I from time to time end up back together but I know nothing's going to come of that. It was a mistake, Kate. There was a reason it ended the first time."

"Richard, dear, I know you want to protect Alexis, but she's going to get her heart broken. You just have to be there for her when it happens," Martha inputs, hoping they could just leave it all be and that there wouldn't be another fight.

They finish eating while they discuss other things. "Maybe we could all go for a walk after beach?" Alexis suggests as they start to clear the table.

"I'm too tired for that tonight; I think I'm going to turn in early. But you three can go without me," Martha smiles.

"Sounds good, sweetie," Castle says as he starts putting away leftovers.

"Actually, I have like five chapters of my book left, and I really want to finish it before we get back to the city. I'll join you tomorrow. You two should spend some time together without me anyway," Kate says, rinsing off the dishes before placing them in the dishwasher.

Alexis can see the disappointment in her father's eyes and wants to leave them alone for a few minutes, "Okay. I'll go grab a jacket from my bag." She follows her grandmother up the stairs.

"Kate, if this is about what I said -"

She shakes her head at him, "Not right now, Castle. Go for a walk with your daughter. We'll talk when you get back."

**CB**

When they get back, he finds her reading in the window seat of the library. "Kate, I'm sorry," he says softly as he approaches her.

She scoots over so he can sit beside her. "I just don't want her to miss out, Rick. I know what it's like to totally mess a relationship up and wish you had another chance."

"I can understand what you did, Kate. I didn't agree with it, but I can see why you did what you did. And I would have let it go when you realized that you were wrong and asked forgiveness. And I've been on the receiving end of your forgiveness for my stupid mistakes many times, and I'm grateful that you have it in you to forgive me."

"So how is her situation different?"

He sighs, "I guess it's not really. I just… don't want her to get hurt. They're only teenagers; I highly doubt he's really her one, but if she thinks he is, then she can forgive him."

"And I'm sorry too."

"For what?" Rick raps his arms around her and kiss her temple.

"I overstepped. You're her father. And I'm not her mother. I shouldn't have pursued it when you said no."

"No, it's fine, Kate. You're a good roll model for her, and I don't really know what I'm doing. It was easier when she was little, but now that she's a teenager… it's harder. And I value any input you have to give." He leans in and kisses her. She quickly deepens it.

When she feels his hand sneak under her shirt and up higher than it had gone before, she pulls away. "Castle…"

"Sorry," he quickly retracts his hand, placing it tentatively on her hip. "I got a little carried away."

"No, it's fine, Rick. It's just… we've been here for almost two whole weeks. I thought you would have tried that earlier; I expected us to be trying to move our relationship forward since you whisked me away from the city. But nothing happened."

"We were injured. Still are injured and probably shouldn't."

"Right," she smirks. "Like you don't know how to get around that. And you sure haven't been acting injured the past couple days."

"So you're mad because I didn't do this earlier?" he asks, slightly confused.

"Yeah, I guess you could put it that way."

"We have now. And forever."

"Not with your mother and daughter here."

"Right. We probably shouldn't… especially not the first time. They might be scarred for life." Castle kisses her one more time before pulling back to think. "We could go out on the beach."

"It's a little chilly. And I'd really rather not be embarrassed by some stranger finding us."

"Then I might just have to keep you here for another night after they leave."

"We'll never end up going back to the city if you do that, Castle," she smiles, leaning in for another kiss.

"I'd be okay with that," he says between kisses.

"We have murderers to catch," she replies.

He abruptly stops, pulling back to stare at her. "We?"

Kate nods. "When you're all healed and I'm cleared for field work, I want you to come back."

"Kate… thank you," he smiles brightly.

"Just be careful not to get shot again or I might kick you out of the precinct for good."

"Only if you promise not to get shot or I might have to handcuff you somewhere to keep you from going back to work and getting hurt again."

"That would be kidnapping. And it's illegal. And I'd be bored out of my mind if you did that."

"Oh, I'd keep you occupied," Castle grins, stealing another kiss.

"Get those ideas out of your head, Castle, especially when you're not going to be acting on them anytime soon."

"Spoilsport."

**A/N: Sorry for not posting this yesterday. I had more virus problems Saturday. Both times this has happened I've been on this site, but it was the ads that pop up. I was trying to avoid another problem, and so far I have. Anyway... hope you enjoyed this story. It's over now. And sadly I don't actually have anything else done or far enough along that I'm ready to start posting. I've got five chapters of one story done, but I'm not really sure where to take it (other than the obvious with Castle and Beckett together) or how to get there. And now I've got another idea in my head but I like to write one story at a time. Plus I've still got a couple ideas started and never finished; I don't think they're going to be happening though, especially since one is about the finale, which has been done a thousand times. Not to say that all those stories are bad because there are some very good ones but I just don't want to copy the idea. Although the story I've started is about the finale, but it takes place more during season four, not right after the shooting. Well... maybe in a couple weeks I will start trying to get that one up. I hope you enjoyed this story. Please give me any final thoughts. Thanks.**


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